30 Seconds to Peace: How to Regain Control of Your Mind and Body

Modern life is the cause of both great stress and distraction for us.

These forces are two of the primary culprits which detract us from finding inner peace and ultimately happiness. But what are we supposed to do?

Stop.

Just stop. Stop everything. Stop looking at your phone, stop working, stop running around and stop worrying. For 30 seconds, simply breathe. That is, become mindful of your breath. It's always there. But it's when we lose track of it that we lose track of ourselves.

So for 30 seconds practice mindfulness of the breath. To do this, put your complete and 100% focus on the act of breathing and on the breath itself. Do not seek to control your breathing, simply observe it silently. Your breath will calm itself once your focus begins to sharpen.

Don't think about your work, don't think about what you're going to make for dinner, don't think about what you're going to do about rent or your mortgage or any other bills, and don't even think about your kids. Empty your mind completely.

I know it's hard. I know you're right in the middle of your day and you could just as easily run past this and forget to do it.

Don't do that. Make it a priority. Realize that you being at peace affects your performance, your mood, your happiness and the performance, mood, and happiness of all the people you come in contact with. This is important. Treat it as such.

So as thoughts come, because you know they will, simply give them a friendly acknowledgment and let them float by as if on the current of a peaceful river. Now come back to your breath.

Alternatively, you can take those 30 seconds to read this short poem. As you read each word, take a deep and slow inhale and exhale. After the first couple of lines begin to relax your entire your body. Written by Thich Nhat Hanh, I've used this many times to calm my breathing and put myself back in control of my mind:

Breathe

In, Out

Deep, Slow

Calm, Ease

Smile, Release

Present moment,

Wonderful moment

The breath is the axis with which the mind and body preside. By learning to control your breath you not only learn how to calm and control your mind but you learn how to control your body as well. The breath is an incredible agent for physical healing.

Both of these practices calm your breathing and give you back control of your mind. Ideally, we should strive to practice mindfulness all day long. But I know as well as anyone how hard that is if you lead even a halfway normal life.

I take 30 seconds every hour of my day from 8 AM to 7 PM to do this practice. You can easily do the same by setting up a reminder on your phone that goes off every hour. When your reminder goes off, take about 30 seconds to practice mindful breathing and you'll immediately notice a difference in how you feel.

No matter what you're doing, stop and take a moment to breathe mindfully. If you're driving either pull over or practice your breathing once you've gotten to your destination. If you're with someone else, have them practice with you. If you rather practice alone for now, that's fine, go into another room or the restroom for a moment.

You can do this discretely in front of your computer or a number of other locations. Don't accept the excuses you give yourself as to why you can't do this. Again, make this a priority and you'll experience the full benefit of the practice.

If you do this and keep at it, you'll notice a significant difference in your mood and stress levels. You'll begin to feel..... at peace.

The 10 Most Important Ways to Simplify Your Life

Peace grows within us if we place ourselves into the right environment. That environment is simplicity.

Modern life can be overwhelming.

We have smartphones, tablets, desktops computers and TVs in our faces all day long. This causes mental dispersion- a sort of chaos of the mind. We're now connected to the rest of the world 24/7. This is great, but it also has its disadvantages.

We spend so much time looking at screens instead of real people, put so much focus on building virtual friends instead of nurturing a small group of close friends in our daily life and technology has made us so fanatical about trying to keep up with a million things at once that our productivity sinks, our minds never rest and we gradually build up stress and anxiety.

This on top of our obsession over material items are the major reasons our lives have become over-complicated. We connect happiness to getting the next new gadget or some other toy or trophy to the point where, unless we get it, our minds are never at peace. And when we do get it, the feeling quickly dissipates like sand sifting through our hands. Then, we're off to acquire something else to get the feeling back.

This cycle of consumption never results in peace. It never brings us true happiness. Only stress, anxiety, anger and frustration.

By shedding our need for more, simplifying our lives and accepting the present moment as it is we cultivate the grounds for true happiness. A happiness not built upon outside forces, but upon our own inner peace.

At its essence, simplifying your life is about removing distractions. It's about finding peace in the breathing room you gain from removing those distractions and mindfully choosing to place your time with that which matters most to you in life: be it your children, wife or husband, mother or father and/or your spiritual practice/faith.

There are many ways to remove distractions and simplify your life if you only take a second to look around. Below is simply a list of the major categories which you can use to jump-start the process of simplifying your life. Feel free to think of your own ways to simplify your life.

Start simplifying, reducing and de-cluttering today and you'll not only have room to breathe but more time to spend doing what's most important to you.

The 10 Most Important Ways to Simplify Your Life

(In no particular order)

1. Simplify your finances

   First, put as many things on autopilot as possible. You do this by setting your paycheck up on direct deposit (if it isn’t already) and setting your bills up to automatically deduct from your account when they’re due.

   Also, set up a savings account and have it auto deduct every week when you get your deposit. If you can’t afford to save much right now that’s OK, just start by saving a few dollars a week. Whatever you can afford, what’s most important is that you establish the habit now.

   Second, reduce the number of accounts you have. Most importantly, take the shredder to your credit cards. They just waste your money and build bad spending habits. It’s too easy to miss a payment and have your interest rate skyrocket to something crazy and then you’re locked in debt and your credit score takes a hit. The one exception to this would be a prepaid credit card for the purpose of building your credit.

   If you’re neck-high in credit card debt and that isn’t an option then you can consolidate your credit. This will take all of your credit card accounts and combine them into one easy to manage monthly payment. It will also take all of those annoying phone calls and letters off your back.

   Third, examine your monthly bills. Look to see if there’s any you don’t actually use regularly. Maybe you haven’t watched much TV in the past few months. It could be something small like a TV service such as Netflix or Hulu (with membership) or something larger like your cable bill. I did this a while back and found nearly $120 (aside from reducing our number of monthly bills).

   Lastly, pay for weekly expenses with cash. This is something I’ve just started doing so I won’t say much about it. But, it seems to be working great and I’m really excited about it. By doing this you’ll avoid the confusion of trying to look at your online banking and match up what you spent with your available balance. This is a headache.

   Each week take out the amount that you’ve pre-decided for each weekly expense category (groceries, gas, diapers?!, fun) and separate them into stacks. You can hold them with money clips, in envelopes or any other way that works for you. This makes your weekly finances extremely clear and simple to work with.

2. Simplify email

   If your email situation is anything like mine was, it can get out of hand without proper maintenance. About 90% of my emails go to one account now, but at one point, I had 5 or so email accounts and was checking my email some 10-15 times a day.

   Start by consolidating your email accounts. Closely examine exactly why you use each email account. By doing so you’ll probably find that a few of those are either useless or can be combined with another account.

   Next, unsubscribe from email lists you never use or gain any value from. This could be iTunes if you never gain any value from what is on the email list, Target if you don’t shop at Target enough to care what’s on their emails (or if you do and just don’t care to see their emails either way like me) or some other company which you never had any particular interest in receiving emails in the first place.

   I know for me there were quite a bit. This should help reduce the number of emails you receive daily and leave the emails of greater importance.

   Lastly, now that you’ve simplified your email accounts, set up a system. Most importantly establish a schedule where you only check your email once or twice a day. Commit to yourself that you won’t open up your email outside of that block of time.

   If email is an important part of your day block out however much time you need to get at least the high priority items checked off. Focus on the high priority emails first and get to however many others you can in the rest of that block of time. After that, move on. Don’t let email rule your life and don’t be scared of leaving emails unread.

3. Reduce screen time

   This is a big one. Screens are a major force for distraction and mental dispersion in modern life as I mentioned earlier.

   First, reduce your TV time or stop watching it altogether. If you only reduce your TV time then at least watch online where there’s little to no commercials (depending on the platform you use). This will save you time, reduce your commercial exposure and put you in better control of your time. You might not have to catch your favorite show when it’s on anymore, maybe you can just record it, but this way you never even have to do that. And cable is far more expensive than even multiple online viewing platforms at once.

   Next, reduce the amount of time you’re on your smartphone. I’d suggest going through your smartphone and deleting any unused apps. When you have way too many possible distractions on your phone you tend to pick it up and look for things to distract yourself with. This is one of the most dangerous distractions in our everyday life because it’s always there with us. By drastically reducing the number of times you pick your phone up in a given day you’ll notice you’ll have a calmer and less dispersed mind.

   I did a thorough check-up of my phone and found that I rarely used or had no need for roughly 70% of the apps I had downloaded. I reduced the number of apps on my phone to 1/2 of one page and put any rarely used or undelete-able  apps (iPhone…) into their own folder and threw them on the second page where I would never lay eyes on them. This drastically reduced the amount of time I’d waste each day playing around on my phone doing nothing particularly important.

4. Giveaway unused / unnecessary material possessions

   Like most people, you probably have quite a few unused / unnecessary material items which are taking up space and cluttering your life. Most of us don’t notice the effect it has on us. But when you take the time to clear away the material clutter in your life you’ll find yourself with room to breath that you never knew you had. It’s pretty liberating to disconnect yourself from material items.

   Depending on whether or not you have kids (a big one), a significant other, a house (another big one), what you do for a living / enjoy doing on your off time and whether or not you’re a pack rat you can have varied amounts of clutter.

   I have known some pack rats in my life. Their emotional attachment to material items isn’t healthy. It just keeps you from finding that true, renewable and limitless happiness that exists when you find out that happiness doesn’t exist outside of you in material items. And the worst part is it’s so difficult to notice when you suffer from it.

   So how will you know what’s clutter and what isn’t? Use the same benchmark we’ve used for every other category so far: do you ever use it? does it provide any value? No? Trash it. Do you use it but it wastes your time and provides no positive value for you or anyone around you? Trash it. After that gather everything up and look at what’s most important. Then see if anything else comes to mind that’s unnecessary. What’s left are the essentials.

5. Simplify your actions

   We try to handle so many things at once. Both men and women are pressured in different ways from society at large, but, both are expected to do so many things at once, do them all perfectly and all the while keeping a smile on their face. We don’t notice that this affects the way we act.

   But we don’t have to follow along with this agenda. In fact, keeping up with the Jones’ only sets you further behind from accomplishing your dreams and goals. To establish the life we desire we need to be willing to be honest with ourselves and those around us. When necessary, you need to be able to tell yourself, and those around you, NO.

   To establish the life we desire we also need to be able to focus. This is how I created measurable changes in my own life. I focused on one major thing at a time until my entire life had changed. And I’m still working on things today just the same way.

   You’ll still juggle from time to time, that’s an aspect of modern life that’s difficult to get around. But you can greatly reduce this. And, this doesn’t mean you can’t put extra attention towards one of those things. By simplifying your life at large it makes it that much easier to focus on one area and really create measurable improvements.

   The bottom line is: don’t spread yourself thin. If you do, you won’t do a good job on any of the things you’re trying to do. Focus on one or a few tasks at a time and give 100% of yourself to them.

6. Simplify your thoughts

   You might not generally consider your thoughts as an aspect of simple living, but it’s one of the most important areas you can simplify your life. Modern life is filled with distractions. These distractions over-complicate life as much as, if not more than, anything else.

   This is when we go back to the practice of mindfulness. The easiest way to do this and begin quieting your mind is to start practicing sitting meditation. Sitting meditation is the most concentrated form of mindfulness and therefore will have the greatest effect towards what we’re trying to achieve: a more quiet mind.

   For quick 5 minute instructions on how to meditate to reduce distractions and mental dispersion read The Quick Start Guide to Mindfulness Meditation. For a more detailed explanation as well as instruction you can read The Ultimate Guide to Meditation.

7. Reduce social distractions

   Everyone is on social media these days. You might visit Facebook once a week, check Twitter every couple of days or use multiple social accounts on a daily basis. Whatever your frequency or preference it’s hard to escape the pull of digital socializing these days.

   However, as great a resource as they can be for staying connected with friends, family, companies and any of your other favorite people, they can become a major distraction. They can, and will, keep you from enjoying life without you even knowing it.

   Making friends online is a lot easier to do then in person. And perhaps because of that there’s an addicting quality to it. I know people who have at certain points made it a habit to check their Facebook, Twitter or Instagram accounts some 20, 30 or more times a day. Work on keeping your social time online to a minimum.

   Being social online isn’t bad though. As I mentioned it can be a very good thing. Just make sure you’re careful about what conversations you take part in. Don’t follow people or take part in conversations just for the sake of gossiping or talking negatively about something or someone. that won’t serve you and will just bring bad vibes your way. You don’t need that complicating your life.

8. Stop multi-tasking

   Multi-tasking is a myth. There. I said it. OK, sometimes it’s possible. But it doesn’t get us the results we once thought it did. Multi-tasking only makes us less productive, more scattered and reduces the quality of our work.

   Multi-tasking also causes us stress and anxiety. We weren’t meant to take on 2-3 things at the same time. We’re most effective when we focus on one activity at a time and give 100% of ourselves to that activity.

   So don’t fool yourself. No matter how much more productive you think you are while attempting to multi-task, you’re not. You’re only hurting yourself and forcefully complicating your life.

9. Pre-plan your meals

   When I say menu-fy meal times I’m really talking about simplifying meal time. Whether you’re single or have a family, figuring out what you’re going to eat (especially at dinner) can be a real headache. We live in an age where we’re provided with so many different options that just deciding what to eat for dinner can be a task in itself (and sometimes a debate!).

   Unless you’re a robot I’m assuming you eat every single day, probably a few times a day. So do yourself a favor: take some time to list out all the various dishes and foods you eat on a semi-regular basis. Separate this list based on meal time: breakfast, lunch, dinner and any other time you usually eat (after work out, for instance).

   Also, list out some things under a snack category. If you take the time to think of some healthy snacks you’ll find yourself snacking on not-so-great things less often.

   Second, sub-separate those categories into two sections based on the meals you cook/prepare and restaurants/fast food locations you visit.

   Third, take this list and each week plan out your meals. We plan our meals on Sunday but you can do it whenever fits best for you. This method also helps reduce the number of times you eat out each week. And you don’t have to be so specific. You can buy milk & cereal and some berries and figure you’ll have those on various days for breakfast without actually deciding which days specifically.

   Lastly, go to the store that same day and buy all of the ingredients you’ll need for the coming week. Let me tell you that from experience you’ll sometimes forget things and still have to run by the store, but it will reduce the number of times you need to do so in a given week. Especially if you have kids…

   This method of pre-planning meals has greatly simplified the meal time process for me and my family. It reduces headache, cuts down on time, reduces grocery store runs and gives you that time back to enjoy with your loved ones.

10. Become a conscious consumer

    So you’ve simplified your life in 9 major areas. You’re feeling pretty good. You have breathing room, less clutter, fewer distractions, fewer complications and life in general has just become more enjoyable. Overall, simple living has become a great source of peace and happiness for you.

    But you need to maintain this in order for it to continue. You need to become a conscious consumer. Let your mindfulness guide you here. When considering consuming or purchasing something, new ask yourself: “do I need this? Or can I live without it?”, “will this take time away from something else that’s important to me? Am I OK with that?” and “will this contribute to my life in a positive way?”

    This includes all 9 categories. When you consider adding an account or a new bill to your financial situation, when you consider taking on a new goal or responsibility, when you consider trying out a new social network because a friend asks you to join her or when you consider buying something new for your home. In all of these scenarios ask yourself the questions I listed above.

    I can’t tell you what the right choice is to make, only you can do that. But as long as stay mindful and make a conscious decision you can maintain a simpler and more peaceful lifestyle.

How to Find Peace Amidst the Chaos of a Busy Life

Finding Time for Peace

I think about something often. A Buddhist monk chooses the monastic life (monasticism is a full-time dedication to one's spiritual practice, to live in a temple as a full-time monk or nun). That monk decides that the practice of personal and spiritual growth is the most important thing in their life.

The fact that a monk or nun has nearly all 24 hours in their day to dedicate to nourishing their minds and bodies, to the practice of achieving inner peace and happiness, is a fact that I'm constantly mindful of when working on myself or when writing something for Buddhaimonia.

As a whole, to be a monk and to live in a monastery practicing for hours upon hours on a daily basis and to be around others doing the same is to place the practices of inner peace, happiness and awakening, both your own practice and the practice of helping others do the same, as not just an important part of your life but as the most important part of your life.

Having such a free schedule and constant support system is an incredible advantage.

We should all prioritize the achieving and maintaining of inner peace. The nourishing of our minds and bodies is the most important thing in life. We want to be at peace and we want our loved ones to be at peace.

If we work to achieve inner peace, continue each day to maintain this inner peace and then show others how to find the same state of inner peace then we'll have a very fulfilling life.

But for someone like myself with all the responsibility that comes from raising a family and putting food on the table, this can be really difficult. And demoralizing.

But it doesn't have to be. We don't need to give up our current lives to achieve inner peace and happiness. But there are a few challenges we'll have to overcome.

The Most Important Decision of Your Life

First, you need to realize that being happy and at peace  takes work like anything else in life. You need to structure your life in a way that allows you to nourish those things on a consistent basis.

If you don't do this you won't ever find time for yourself and you won't ever be happy. You'll develop stress, anxiety, and bottle up negative emotions which will affect you for the rest of your life (or until you do something about it).

No matter who you think are the happiest people in the world, they aren't happy because they have something, wear something, look like something or even because they've accomplished something. They're happy because of their daily practice.

Everything in life is temporary, even peace and happiness. This is why we need each need to develop a practice which constantly nourishes our minds and bodies. Not just temporarily.

There is no enlightened state which allows us to permanently be happy and at peace. We need to be constantly working on ourselves. And not always to improve, oftentimes simply to maintain our current state, such as inner peace.

So you've put a little work in. You started meditating here and there but you're getting frustrated. Despite this, you catch yourself (or rather, don't catch yourself) going an entire day rushing around doing everything for everyone else (I'm including your ego here) and absolutely nothing for yourself- the real you. You forget to nourish your mind and body altogether.

That can be really frustrating. I know how it feels, I've had many days just like that.

However, in this example, meditation is something you really value. You try to meditate every day as it's allowed you to overcome some deep-seeded negative emotions and helped you develop a sense of inner peace. So then how can you go an entire day and completely forget to do the thing that makes you feel completely rested, happy and at peace?

So then how can you go an entire day and completely forget to do the thing that makes you feel completely rested, happy and at peace?

It's your priorities. Everyone has priorities, they just don't know it. If you don't consciously set your priorities then they will be set for you by some other force be it the influence of society or your ego. 

You've gotten a lot of value from meditation but you're still prioritizing busy work, errands, temporary pleasures and making money over your well-being.

I'm not saying quit your job, stop doing the things that you like to do or rearrange anything else in your life. But I am saying though that if those things aren't as important to you then you need to do everything in your power to put what's most important to you first.

Ultimately, it comes down to this: You need to become mindful of your priorities. I'll say it again but a little differently this time. Ready? Here it goes:

You need to become mindful of what's most important to you in life and shift your priorities to giving the most of yourself to those things.

I need to stress this point because unless you do this you won't ever get where you want to go. You won't ever find inner peace and happiness if you don't prioritize it and put work into it. And your family won't have the best chance they could have at finding peace if you don't commit to finding peace within yourself.

Buddhist monks know the power of this as well as anyone. By living a monastic life they're not only prioritizing the well-being of their minds and bodies and the minds and bodies of other beings but that's what they put their time and energy into. Their actions are in line with what matters most to them.

And guess what happens? They become the happiest people in the world. Brain scans on Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard have shown he has the largest capacity for happiness ever recorded.

Happiness takes work. There are no two ways about. It's just like anything else in life. So many of us want to be happy, even expect to be happy, and yet do very little about it.

And don't worry about being perfect. Just like I did, at first you'll have many of the days like I described above where you'll forget your practice altogether.

And maybe others where you find it hard to focus or break through some frustration you're feeling that day. It's only natural with the average amount of responsibilities we all have living normal (non-monk!) lives.

Don't get discouraged. This is a long-term process and not a get-happy-quick plan (nothing is for that matter). Just get back on your game and keep at it.

The good thing is, in the case of sitting meditation or mindfulness, you should see positive results quickly which will help to encourage your practice further.

Personal growth isn't about perfection. It's about making a consistent effort. If you make a consistent effort you will see results start to develop until one day you look back and notice your entire life has changed for the better.

Finding Time You Never Knew You Had

So you've made the practice of peace and happiness a priority for you and your family. You've set time aside and have a regular practice of perhaps meditation, a specific block of family time each day and are striving to practice mindfulness throughout your day.

But you can do this and, unless you have absolutely no responsibilities, still find it difficult to manage your time.

Sometimes things will get in the way no matter how hard you try. Sometimes you'll just plain forget because of how much is on your plate. And other times you might just feel too tired to do anything.

This is OK. Remember, as I mentioned in the last section this is a work in progress. These occurrences will diminish over time.

I've gone through this myself for some time and came up with some solutions to help move my own practice along which I'd like to share with you.

These priorities, which you've made the foundation of your life, are the things you've decided are important enough to shape your entire life around.

Just as a monk decides to make the practice of inner peace a cornerstone principle of their lives and becomes a monastic to devote themselves to the way, you can prioritize inner peace in your own life.

However, you don't have to become a monastic and move to a temple to prioritize peace and happiness for you and your family. And in many ways, you can do it without changing your schedule or by freeing up extra time.

I've found that when it comes to working on myself, with regards to time, closely examining everything I do during my day and then looking to see where I can fit in "moments of nourishment", we'll call them, on top of what I already do is really effective.

For example, I listen to audio books while driving. I read (a lot) as well but mostly articles and blogs online. Most of my book reading is now done via audio books and the majority of my audio book time is done while I'm driving.

You already drive to and from work, drop your kids off to school or run errands. Maybe you do all of these things in a day. These are all opportunities to feed your mind.

Some of my favorite audio books for these occasions are Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, The Art of Power and Living Buddha, Living Christ (this one's narrated by Ben Kingsley). You'd be surprised how many books you can read in a month like this.

Rolling off of this point, you can also listen to your audio book through your headphones while cleaning or doing other simple tasks.

Next, take the practice of meditation. Read my guide How to Meditate for Beginners as well as The Beginner's Guide to Walking Meditation where I discussed walking meditation, which you can do at any point during your day. This is essentially mindfulness of your steps while walking towards a previously decided point.

Simply breathing mindfully, wherever you are, is also something you can do at various points in your day. Sitting down waiting to be called at the doctor's office? You can practice mindful breathing while sitting and waiting.

And don't worry, I'm not asking you to close your eyes or chant anything funny in the middle of the waiting area. Just sit with you back straight, relax your body and be mindful of your in-breath and out-breath and, with a gentle acknowledgment, let any thoughts that come into your mind pass and then refocus on your breath.

Recently, I was waiting in the morning to drop off some packages at the nearby post office and had to wait about 20 minutes for it to open. Instead of opening up my phone and wasting time, like I might have done in the past, I decided to meditate.

If you make something a priority, you'll find extra moments in your day you never knew you had.

Guiding Your Life With Mindfulness

I mentioned walking meditation and mindful breathing (as sitting meditation) already, however, mindfulness is something you can do at any point in your everyday life.

Also, mindfulness is itself is an important aspect of the practice of inner peace, so it's by far the most important thing you can do to "find time for yourself".

To clarify why this is finding time for yourself, I need to explain something. When people say they're taking time for themselves what they're really doing is recharging and rebalancing. Rebalancing as in regaining your sense of inner peace.

It's never been about freeing or finding time, it's about regaining your mental balance. This is inner peace. Without knowing it, this is really what so many of us care about.

Mindfulness can be done anytime and anywhere. While driving your car, walking, sitting, cleaning and working you can practice mindfulness. When you look at it that way, we only ever need to regain our inner balance because we live mindlessly.

If we can live more mindfully we'll have no need to "rebalance", because we'll never have lost our balance, to begin with. That's how you don't just find peace, but maintain it consistently.

Think on that.

The 10,000 Paths: The One Thing We All Want and the Truth about How to Get It

The 10,000 Paths

It's the reason "Happy" By Pharrell Williams resounded so deeply with so many around the world. It's the reason we party, dance, eat nice food, search for God and fight for a better life.

• The man or woman working at a big corporation trying to get that next promotion, the nice car and a bigger house.
• The entrepreneur following their dream intent on building a business and being able to do what they love for a living.
• The middle-aged worker toiling away at a big company in hopes that he'll one day be able to retire and live out his golden years.
• The person searching for their partner and "true love" in life so that they can build a family and settle down.

What do these people have in common? 

1. They all want to be happy & at peace.
2. And they want their loved ones to be happy and at peace as well.

The paths we walk in hopes of achieving happiness aren't wrong. It's just wrong that we expect them to bring us real peace and happiness.

Most of us are searching for happiness where it does not exist. Our desire to be happy leads us to search for things outside of ourselves such as power, fame, and wealth.

True happiness exists not outside of ourselves, but inside. It exists in finding inner peace- the foundation of true happiness.

Think of inner peace as the prerequisite for true happiness. Peace is the state accomplished once one has reconciled, cured or come to terms with all negative mental factors, erasing the bad that plagues the mind and keeps it from total relaxation.

Inner peace is a fortress for the mind. This is why it allows us to attain true happiness. The happiness acquired from attaining inner peace is unaffected by outside circumstances.

True happiness is the effect of attaining inner peace. By understanding this, you know how to attain true happiness. Achieve inner peace in order to discover true and lasting happiness.

So then...how do we attain inner peace? How do we find this "true" happiness?

Why Our Search for Happiness Fails

The paramount mistake we make in searching for happiness, and perhaps in life altogether, is convincing ourselves that our happiness exists in something. That is, that happiness exists in one place and one place only and that if we don't get it we can't ever be happy.

But what if we do accomplish our goals? What if the businessman gets that promotion, the entrepreneur builds a successful business, the blue-collar worker gets to retirement with ample savings and the man or woman searching for love finds the one? At least those that do will be happy, right?

Only temporarily. This type of happiness is fleeting. It's more of a mirage of happiness than anything else. Science calls this hedonic adaptation (for more information read The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does).

Once it wears off all you're left with is a whole new set of stresses and frustrations. This is because true happiness starts with us. Happiness is everywhere, we only need to know how to look. Until we achieve inner peace we'll always look for that one thing that's supposed to make us happy.

But if we convince ourselves that the thing we desire is our key to happiness then we won't ever be happy. As soon as you get that thing you'll want some other thing and then another and another. It's a never-ending cycle of consumption only broken by letting go of craving. Letting go of your craving for something outside of yourself.

By convincing ourselves that happiness exists only in this one thing we don't yet have we miss out on the opportunity to cultivate true peace and happiness in the present moment.

How to Develop the Practice of Inner Peace and True Happiness

True happiness is everywhere. It's in the trees, in the people you meet and in the basic activities you do every day. It's in letting go of those things which you crave and opening your eyes to life in the here and now.

Why is true happiness everywhere and how do you find happiness in everyday activities? By letting go and living with mindfulness.

With mindfulness, you tap into the peace that is everything you do. Every step, every breath, every conversation, everything you drink and eat. Everything becomes a chance to renew your sense of inner peace and discover true happiness.

Happiness isn't a one-shot deal. It isn't a "get it done now and I'm happy forever" thing. It's a practice. It's a way of life. Everything in life is this way. Want to lose weight? Don't go on a diet. Change the way you live your life altogether. Decide that from now on you're going to eat more healthy and exercise regularly.

This is the way to real change. The way to real and lasting self-improvement. Inner peace and happiness are daily practices just like this. There are many ways to cultivate inner peace and discover true and lasting happiness in your life, but these are the necessary foundations from which happiness arises:

The Foundation of True Happiness:

1. Letting go- Let go of the idea that you're incomplete. Let go of the idea that you need "something" in order to be happy. 

As I mentioned in the previous section, even if you do acquire that something which you crave- be it a new level of power at work, greater wealth, the attention of another or the adoration of many- you'll just move on to something else. You'll always "need" something which you do not have in order to be happy. And even if you do get what you want, this is not true happiness. It will soon wear off and you'll be right back where you started. 

True happiness exists in this moment. Until you learn to let go you won't be able to enjoy the present moment. Your mind will constantly be racing, working to get that thing you need to be happy. Live your life. Raise your kids, go to work, run your business, do your projects. But don't do these things expecting something. Simply commit to contributing your very best to everything you do and let the cards fall where they may. These things can bring you happiness and joy, but don't expect happiness from these things.

Find happiness everywhere and in every moment.

2. Living with mindfulness- You should strive to live every moment of every day in mindfulness. Mindfulness is -the- foundation of peace and happiness. This is because of a number of things. First and foremost, mindfulness keeps you grounded. 

We're constantly bouncing around in our minds from one thought to another. Then back to the present, only for a second, and back again into our minds where we ping-pong endlessly. This causes us great stress and anxiety and many of us don't even notice it. Mindfulness puts an immediate stop to this. Indeed mindfulness is the direct opposite of this "monkey mind" syndrome.

Mindfulness is also like placing a magnifying glass over your life. By doing so you have the ability to identify deep-seeded emotions or beliefs such as anger, sadness, a lack of confidence or some other limiting belief and then, seeing clearly the misconception from which these things arose, are able to come to terms with them.

You also begin to notice things which were always present but that you hadn't noticed previously. Mindfulness enhances everyday life. Even the simplest things become a great pleasure. One of the best ways to test this out is the practice of mindful eating. Eating a meal in mindfulness is much more pleasurable and satisfying than not eating in mindfulness. Mindful eating is easy, it's exactly what it sounds like- it's practicing mindfulness while eating.

Don't know how to practice mindfulness? Read The Little Book of Mindfulness.

3. Cultivating compassion- How does seeking to understand others, expressing love and kindness and seeking to help them make you happier or more at peace? In every way possible.

Our happiness is dependent on other people, in a way. Most of us let what others do bother us to no end. Driving to work in the morning when someone suddenly cuts you off on the freeway, at work when your boss asks you to come in for a few hours on a Saturday, at the gym when someone swipes the machine you've been waiting to use for the last 10 minutes, and your husband or wife when at the end of a long day you get into an argument over the smallest seemingly most insignificant thing. These things happen to us every day. And sometimes much worse.

These constant bothers can be so tiring. They're often a source of great stress and frustration for us. But by committing to cultivate compassion for others you will be able to see beyond these incidents to the larger picture. These things will no longer cause you the same level of frustration or stress that they once did. 

When you make the commitment to cultivate compassion for all beings (including yourself) you undertake a giant task. Like learning to live with mindfulness every moment of every day, it will be a work in progress. But by seeking to understand those around you and knowing that there is always a reason hidden within every action you will be able to start cultivating compassion for those around you (and those not). This is because understanding is the basis of compassion. To understand someone is to feel compassion towards them.

You can do this easily: Simply commit to the idea that there's a deeper meaning or reason behind why everyone does what they do. When something bothers you, remind yourself of this and then begin thinking of possible explanations. It's a great exercise that I use myself constantly to cultivate compassion and understanding for another. You don't even need to figure out why they do what they do, all you need to do is think of possibilities and you'll calm yourself and feel a sense of compassion grow within you.

Walk the Path

The above three points are a strong foundation for inner peace and happiness. As long as you live by these three principles you have the ability to find happiness wherever you go. Each of the principles takes work- hard work. But true happiness is real and obtainable.

The key isn't to be perfect. The key is simply to make an effort. Begin the process of letting go, strive to live every day with mindfulness and commit to cultivating compassion wherever you go and happiness will be right there with you in every moment.

3 Ways the Zen Master Doc The's Book of Mindfulness Can Help You Practice Mindfulness

"The Essential Discipline for Daily Use" by Zen Master Doc The

In The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation, Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh tells the story of a book given to him when he first began his monastic life as a Buddhist monk. The book, "The Essential Discipline for Daily Use", was written by the Zen master Doc The (pronounced "tay") and given to novice monks in order to help them develop the practice of mindfulness.

The book, no more than 40 pages long from front to back, was made up of short verses which they would recite to themselves while doing specific tasks in order to awaken their minds (i.e. practice mindfulness). The book included verses for each specific activity that a monk might do throughout his or her day. Such as waking up:

Just awakened, I hope that every person will attain great awareness and see in complete clarity.

and washing their hands...

Washing my hands, I hope that every person will have pure hands to receive reality.

Thich Nhat Hanh has since expanded on that original idea by adding a few modern meditations of his own, as he explains in the video below (around the 14 minute mark). I've quoted a portion of the video:

We have invented new verses. Like riding a bicycle, because the text is very ancient there is no verse for riding a bicycle....Also, we have a verse for you to use when you are about to make a phone call. Called telephone meditation. You are holding the phone and you want to call him or her...so you breath in with one line and out with the second line and in with the third line. And you are calm after that. That way the quality of the talk will be better.

The telephone meditation is four lines. As Nhat Hanh mentions above, you breathe in when reading the first line (silently to yourself), out for the second line, in for the third and out once more for the fourth:

Words can travel thousands of kilometers.

They can build more understanding and love.

I vow that what I'm going to say is going to promote mutual understanding and love.

And every word I say will be beautiful like flowers.

Thich Nhat Hanh doesn't mention if the book had both one-line verses and four-line verses, as he mentions only one-line verses in "The Miracle of Mindfulness" and four-line verses in the dharma talk linked above. But there's no reason you can't use both one-line and four-line verses. Shoot, use two-liners, three-liners. Whatever it is, the point is that they're verses to help you practice mindfulness.

Overall, I loved the idea of the book and thought it would be an incredible tool to help myself  develop the practice of mindfulness. So I decided to re-purpose it...

Creating the "Book of Mindfulness"

“You must prioritize the practice of peace and happiness in order to achieve peace and happiness.”

Long-term happiness does not just fall into your lap. Unless you make the decision to prioritize something, you've got nothing more than a shot in the dark at accomplishing it.

So then how do you do this with an already busy schedule? Trust me, I know how you feel. I have a 6-month-old and a 2 1/2-year-old. Just they by themselves are a handful like no other let alone my other responsibilities. But this can be helped by a number of things. We just have to get creative.

This is why I liked the idea of "The Essential Discipline for Daily Use" so much. I thought, what if I created my own version of the Zen master's book in order to help me adopt the practice of mindfulness in my everyday life? That was the birth of the "Book of Mindfulness".

Adopting the practice of mindfulness isn't easy, no matter who you are. But this book is the perfect companion for the modern-day man or woman to cultivate the practice of mindfulness whether you lead a busy family life or fast-paced corporate life (and anywhere in between).

I liked the idea of having a book which outlined all the various moments throughout the day where one could practice mindfulness and realized that if I did it old school - that is if I literally bought a physical (handheld) notebook and kept it on me at all times- it would be a sure-fire way to remind myself to practice mindfulness (feeling it in your pocket, you're constantly reminded that it's there).

Well turns out, it worked. As soon as I started using it I was not only constantly reminded to practice mindfulness, I knew how to put myself into a state of mindfulness no matter what I was doing. And then I began associating a sense of peace and happiness with the act of taking the book out, which encouraged me to use it to practice mindfulness even more often. Which brings me to our list:

3 Ways the Zen Master Doc The's Book of Mindfulness Can Help You Practice Mindfulness

1. It constantly reminds you to practice mindfulness- It's simple- it's a physical book that you hand-write and keep in your pocket or wallet. It's physically obstructive, or at least noticeable enough that you're constantly reminded to practice mindfulness throughout your day when you sit down or reach for your wallet. *Ladies: if you don't have pockets then throw it in your wallet- NOT the black holes that are your purses...that is if you're anything like my wife...The notebook is itself a constant reminder that the practice of mindfulness is more important than the bothersome nature of the book in your pocket or wallet. It's a statement of the importance of your practice and commitment to creating your own peace and happiness. And you don't even have to take the book out half the time. After a while of reading each phrase, you'll memorize them and the mere presence of the book in your pocket will be enough to send you into mindfulness.
2. It shows you how to practice mindfulness no matter what you're doing- This is the original purpose of the book. Within it exists various short verses, as we discussed earlier, to help you develop your practice of mindfulness. No matter what you're doing the book has a phrase which you can use to take control of your consciousness and enter mindfulness.If you think you'll be taking the book out too often than you're comfortable with at first, don't worry. You'll soon memorize certain phrases and won't have to take the book out nearly as often.
3. It provides positive reinforcement- You'll notice that, after a while of using the book, the book itself becomes a symbol of the benefits of your practice. Inner peace, happiness, and clarity all become associated with opening your book and reading a verse.This is a great source of reinforcement for your practice. Necessary reinforcement, because no matter how good something is we need constant reminders for why we do what we do. When things get tough our commitments loosen as the negative (stress, frustration, adopting bad habits) tries to take hold of us. Mindfulness is the practice to overcome these forces and the book of mindfulness is the tool which reminds you to return to mindfulness.

Building Your Own Book of Mindfulness

In order to create your own book of mindfulness, you'll just need:

• A small pocket-sized notebook- If you have a Barnes & Noble around you, they sell perfect sized Moleskine brand pocket books. If not, Amazon sells them too.
• A pen- Try to use a brand that doesn't bleed too much and make sure after writing something to keep the book open for a bit and blow on the ink. This isn't a big deal, but as you can see from the image at the top of this post the ink will really spread unless you do this because of how many times you open and close the book.
• A little inspiration- You might not know where to start, but you can create your own verses with a little brainstorming like I did. I listed three examples earlier in this article but below are a few more entries in my own book of mindfulness including some verses I created for modern life (driving, the internet).

Present moment - Intro

This is a little poem I originally read in Thich Nhat Hanh's The Art of Power. I really liked it and thought it would be the perfect verse for stopping and following my breath (when feeling stressed, overwhelmed or needing to calm down for whatever other reason). I've since used it more than any other verse in the book. Reading it brings me a great sense of inner peace.

Each word in the poem up to "release" refers to what you're supposed to do as you breathe in or out. I typically breathe in and out 2-3 times for each line to enhance the practice. Breath in on the first word of each line and breathe out for the second. Breath in on "Present moment" and breathe out on "Wonderful moment".

So as you read "deep", make sure you take a deep breath. As you read "slow" make sure you take a slow breath. As you go adopt each new word into your practice. First deep breathing, then slow deep breathing, then as you breathe slowly and deeply calm your body and ease your mind, half-smile to release the tension in your facial muscles and then on "release" imagine yourself releasing all tension and stress from your entire body and mind. Then on "Present moment, wonderful moment" simply savor the peace of this moment.

Relish in the beauty of this moment. You'll never get it back. This is a very calming practice.

In, out

Deep, slow

Calm, ease

Smile, release

Present moment,

Wonderful moment.

Dealing with anger

This is another verse which I adapted from Thich Nhat Hanh's work as I thought it would be highly useful given the "toolbox" nature of the Book of Mindfulness. I thought, why does the book only have to help with becoming mindful during specific activities? This verse helps you regain hold of your consciousness when anger takes over, no matter what you're doing.

Breathe in and out for the first line and in and out again for the second line:

Although right now I am angry at _______,

Deep down I know I am capable of being at peace.

Driving meditation

As I place my hands on this wheel I enter a state of mindfulness.

I know I am sitting here, driving this car.

I vow to treat other drivers with patience and compassion.

And I will renew my sense of inner peace with each turn of the wheel.

Surfing / Internet meditation

As I place my hands on this device I enter a state of mindfulness.

My breath is my companion to the connected world.

I know where I am, what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

And I vow to consume only those things which nurture my mind.

Working meditation

As I enter this building I also enter a state of mindfulness.

I will treat all tasks with the same level of importance I place on (any other task in my life.) (You can fill in the blank here)

My breath will guide all important decisions.

I vow to treat others with compassion and will use deep listening when speaking with teammates.

Feel free to create your own verses and share them here. Let me know what's worked for you!