9 Essential Keys to Living More Fully and Freely in the Present Moment

It's now New Years as of the day I'm writing this, and throughout much of the world, people are making resolutions to change or improve some aspect of their life.

Most of us make simple resolutions like "eat healthy", "get in shape", or "get my finances in order". The fact that these goals lack any detail or a specific plan for accomplishment aside, the biggest problem with making resolutions or setting goals in this way is that they don't seek to handle the real issue from the source.

What is the real issue? It always originates from the mind. What that actually means varies from person to person, but it's always some form of resistance to the present moment- to reality and our life as it is. This doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't seek to change our physical (or outward) circumstances, but this does mean that before doing so we need to get our "mental house" in order. Without having done this, we're moving in the dark, never really knowing if we're taking one step forward, sideways, or backward (or if we really even care to move at all).

It's mindfulness practice and the ability to look deeply into our everyday experiences which allow us to see with clarity, and that clarity brings greater freedom and a sense of meaning where there was once a lack-there-of. That feeling of "voidness", of something being missing, disappears and we're left feeling whole and fulfilled doing and experiencing even the simplest of things.

Truthfully, I've found this to be the single most difficult effort I've ever made in my life. But, I've also benefitted more from dedicating myself to living more mindfully and fully in this moment, the present moment, than anything else in my life by far as well.

And the great thing is, we all have it in us. No matter who you are you can make an effort to live more mindfully, more fully in the present moment. And while it can be a difficult effort, the reality is you don't need to live 24 hours a day in mindfulness. Even living your life 5% or 10% more mindful will make a tremendous difference in your life in so many different ways.

Last week on the Zen for Everyday Life podcast, I talked about how to make mindfulness a way of life through my 7 keys for living more mindfully. Those are the keys I've found through my own practice and experimentation to be most critical in making a more mindful life a reality.

But there's more to living fully and freely in the present moment than just being mindful. When you become mindful you often come face-to-face with resistance and are still posed with certain critical questions and issues which can be hard to surmount. These issues will keep you from realizing the fullness and freedom which living mindfully can bring you.

To help with that here are 9 essential keys I've found to living more fully and freely in the present moment.

9 Essential Keys to Living More Fully and Freely in Everyday Life

Below you'll find what I've discovered to be 9 essential keys to living both with greater freedom as well as with greater meaning and fulfillment in everyday life.

These points vary widely and many are lifelong efforts, but they all have a simple and to-the-point quality to them which makes them easy to understand and begin to apply in your everyday life.

I hope these 9 essential keys help serve you in your effort to live a more free and meaningful life.

1. Open yourself fully to this moment

"The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is."

- Eckhart Tolle

Resistance is a principle I've talked about before on the blog. It's been described many ways before, but I prefer resistance because it gives you what I feel is an accurate visual of what the real effort, or thing happening, is in each moment.

We're resisting what is, to put it simply. There's really nothing more to it. But of course, that's hardly enough explanation to know how to actually apply this in your own life.

To better understand this and see clearly how you can apply it in your own life, I'll give some personal examples.

In episode number five of the Zen for Everyday Life podcast, How Mindfulness Helps Us Overcome Difficult Everyday Challenges, I talked about how before my first son was born I experienced paralyzing anxiety due to my money troubles.

Any time I'd think about my money troubles I'd go into a sort of shock and freeze up completely. This wasn't just stressful and a source of anxiety, but it was the most unproductive thing I could possibly do to actually get out of my situation in the first place.

It took some time, but after a while, I was able to step away from the issue and separate myself from it due to the clarity I had found through my meditation and mindfulness practice. At times, I still experienced challenges due to a lack of money, but it no longer affected me the way that it once did.

Ultimately, this was because my mindfulness practice didn't allow me to run from my issue. It forced me to face up to it and observe it more closely and at length. And after a while, that paralyzing and anxiety-causing quality to it just dropped away as I gained more and more clarity.

Another clear example from my own life is when I found out I was going to be a father...for the third time. I talked about it in Zen and the Art of Adapting to Life's Curveballs. That post stands as one of my personal favorites and a favorite of many of the Buddhaimonia community at the time it was published.

In the post, I talked about how I initially resisted the idea of being a father for the third time and found myself feeling resentment and anger towards the unborn child. Luckily, this is after I had been practicing for some time, and quickly shifted my mindset to one of appreciation, understanding, and love and welcomed the child with open arms.

Letting go of the resistance I had felt opened up a new possibility- that of this new child being a source of joy and meaning for me and my family (which my little girl absolutely became).

There are many ways this can manifest as the garden of our consciousness holds many seeds- seeds of anger, resentment, fear, jealousy, and more. But it all comes down to the same one thing- resistance to the present moment.

It will take time before you can spot this resistance yourself, but over time, you'll be able to see it more clearly. Furthermore, with dedication to your practice, you'll begin to let go of it and live with greater peace and freedom.

2.  Live harmoniously

“As a bee gathering nectar does not harm or disturb the color & fragrance of the flower; so do the wise move through the world.”

- Buddha

Mindfulness gives us unrivaled access to our own thoughts, words, and actions and the intentions which lie hidden beneath them. Because of this, with time, we can begin to see that what we think, say, and do has a real effect on not just ourselves but the word around us.

This can mean many things, but it all comes down to one central idea: to live harmoniously with the world around us. Whether that's with other people, animals, plants, or the Earth and life itself in a general sense, to live harmoniously with these various parts of life is to water seeds of peace, freedom, and meaning within ourselves.

This is something I've found has come about as a natural byproduct of my practice combined with opening myself up to the natural world, two things which go together like peanut butter and jelly (and I really like peanut butter and jelly).

But don't make the mistake of thinking that this is restricted to what we call nature and nothing else. Try not to draw imaginary lines, or at least, notice where you have drawn them.

Nature, people, animals, thoughts, words, actions- everything is connected. To live harmoniously is to live in a way that you don't disturb the natural order of things. Much is included within that, but if you remember that basic tenet it's easy to keep from being led astray.

To keep this natural order is to keep the peace, both within your mind and in the world outside. This point runs pretty deep, but for now, I think it's important to leave it at that.

3. Stop searching for meaning outside yourself

“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”

- Alan Watts

There's a deep current that runs throughout this world, but most of us have become unconnected to it. That current is love, but unfortunately, most of us have floated off into a place of fear, lack, or as I often refer to it: the feeling that "something" is missing.

We search for meaning outside ourselves in many different ways:

• We seek to feel "complete" through intimate relationships.
• We seek to feel fulfilled through big accomplishments.
• We seek to feel loved through sex.
• And we seek to feel content through harmful, unhealthy, or generally neutral repetitive activities (this takes shape in many ways).

Whatever it is, it's all towards the same purpose of making ourselves feel "full", to fill that sense of voidness within us and, unknowingly, get back to the current of love. Unfortunately, most of us go about it the wrong way and end up hurting ourselves more than anything else.

To make this a reality, more is necessary than just mindfulness, although mindfulness can help us to cultivate positive qualities such as compassion and understanding, the foundations of love.

Stop searching for meaning outside of yourself. Stop thinking you need something outside of yourself, even "the one" (for the record, I believe an intimate relationship can be very nourishing and a beautiful addition to life. Something to look forward to for sure, but like so many other enjoyable things, in no way necessary for peace or happiness).

Along with your mindfulness practice, the resources below can help you to begin cultivating more understanding, compassion, and finally love in your life:

1. Cultivating compassion and understanding: Healing Through Understanding: How a Simple Meditation Can Transform Your Mind and How You Relate to Others
2. Culivating love: How to Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation
3. Understanding the power of love: Love is the Way: The Universal Path to Peace, Happiness, and Enlightenment
4. Seeing through the illusion of intimate love: 3 Ways Intimate Love Keeps Us from Peace and Happiness and How to Transcend Through Self-Love

When you begin to work on this, you'll find that this empty feeling you had was never really there. You were full along, you had just lost the current.

4. Shift from "me" to "us"

"Only keep the question, 'What is the best way of helping other people?'"

- Seung Sahn

This isn't an easy effort for anyone, but some cultures have an easier time with this than others. It just so happens, if you live in the West, this is particularly more difficult.

In the West, more so than in some parts of the East, the ego is a stamp of our individuality, without which we'd wither away and become like drones. But this is a misunderstanding more than anything else.

The shift from "me" to "us" coincides with the shift from fear (or lack) to love in the last point. It's an altogether opening up of our state of mind to a place where all things are precious and beautiful and equal.

It doesn't mean we lose ourselves or our sense of identity, it simply means we gain a clearer understanding. A clearer understanding of our interconnectedness and interbeing nature.

Our mindfulness practice helps us begin to make this shift, most particularly the practice of deep sitting meditation, as do certain exercises which the Buddha suggested in his many talks, among those the practice of loving-kindness meditation which I linked to in the last point.

5. See your interbeing nature

“We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.”

- Thich Nhat Hanh

Moving on from the last point, realizing the interbeing nature of all things is about the same idea of "awakening from our illusion of separateness" as Thich Nhat Hanh refers to it in the quote above.

You can practice this simply and easily within your everyday life (it's one of my personal favorite exercises). Specifically, through Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh's practice of looking deeply. Here's how to practice it:

1. Pick an object. This could be a flower, tree, a piece of food, or even a person (although that's a bit of an advanced form of the practice). Whatever it is, pick one object and focus on that.
2. Work backwards. Take a flower for instance. Start with where you got it- the store, flower shop, outside in your garden, at the park or wherever. Then imagine, or find out if you don’t know, how it got to the flower shop, how it was transported, how it was maintained for freshness, how it was cared for and picked, and how it grew from a seed in the ground into a flower. Lastly, think about the soil and all the things that make up the soil that would eventually provide the seed the nutrients to grow into the flower as it sits in front of you now.
3. Realize interbeing. Lastly, think of how if you were to take away even one of those elements: the grower, the garden, the soil, the seed, or the facility that packaged and delivered it, the flower would cease to exist.

This is a simple and easy meditation which you can do on just about anything, you just may have to stop to do a little searching to find out exactly where that thing comes from. But that can be an exciting and insightful exercise in itself (and something easily done nowadays with the internet).

After practicing this a few times on a few different objects, do this on yourself and see the many different conditions which you do and have depended on to exist as you are today and see that even we don't escape this great truth of impermanence.

6. Don't waste this life - Realize the impermanent nature of all things

“Great is the matter of birth and death. All is impermanent, quickly passing. Wake up! Wake up, each one! Don’t waste this life.”

- Dogen Zenji

The above quote from Zen master Dogen clearly exemplifies the importance of this point. Because of the impermanent nature of all things, we, as well as everything around us has a finite amount of time available to us in this life.

It's because of this that we shouldn't waste a single moment of it. To be mindful, fully present for this moment is to be fully alive and making the most of each moment available to us. This is the power of mindfulness. The power to truly live fully in each moment.

With mindfulness and the practice of looking deeply (see the last point), we can see into the impermanent nature of things and cultivate a sense of gratitude and appreciation for our lives and the little moments.

Smelling a flower, touching a tree, being with a loved one. In each of these moments, we can see clearly the impermanent nature of all things- both the moment and the things- and fully appreciate it for all its beauty. Get out there and live mindfully and more deeply and cultivate that sense of appreciation for yourself.

7. Decide what's important to you, simplify your life, and give yourself to those things

"Since there is never a time when worldly activities come to an end, limit your activities."

- Atisa

You can only give your time and attention to so many things. As I mentioned in the last point, we have a finite amount of time in this life and in each individual moment, so you need to:

1. Decide what's important to you
2. Simplify your life (cut down on the nonessentials)
3. And give yourself to those important things

It's only in doing this that you'll be able to live a full life, one where you felt that you gave it your all and attained the peace you were searching for.

Simplicity may only be a container- the practice of mindful living, looking and seeing deeply, and cultivating love being the contents- but without the container, we'd have no effective capacity to create the right environment for peace and freedom to arise in the first place.

This can be something as simple as cutting down on your physical possessions, which have the ability to crowd our life and distract us. But more importantly, it includes things such as limiting your commitments and responsibilities, both of which crowd our mental activity.

For more information on how to make this a reality, see ZfEL podcast episode #5: How to Cleanse the Mind and Create an Environment Conducive to Greater Peace and Freedom.

8. Be fully of this moment

"Treat every moment as your last. It is not preparation for something else.”

- Shunryu Suzuki

Shunryu Suzuki has two of my favorite quotes pertaining to this point, the second is this:

"You should not have any remains after you do something. But this does not mean to forget all about it. In order not to leave any traces, when you do something, you should do it with your whole body and mind; you should be concentrated on what you do. You should do it completely, like a good bonfire.

You should not be a smoky fire. You should burn yourself completely. If you do not burn yourself completely, a trace of yourself will be left in what you do."

To be fully of this moment means to give your full being to this moment. It means you leave nothing on the table, reserve no part of yourself, hold nothing back and regret nothing. You act as one unstoppable force in that moment.

The way most of us live our lives, we're usually doing something now in preparation for something later. In each moment, we're more concentrated on the next moment than we are the present moment. Because of this, in a very real way we're never fully present to our lives and almost always living in our heads half asleep.

To live mindfully, deeply, fully engaged in this moment is to let go of the future and be fully of this moment- the present moment.

It doesn't necessarily mean you cease planning for the future, as some planning is necessary. How would a monk or nun get anything done at a monastery (and there's a lot to get done) if he or she never planned anything? So some degree of planning is necessary, but the focus should be on living fully in the present moment.

The most important things to pay attention to are fear of the future and aversion to the present. Fear of the future makes us either focus constantly on planning for the future and avoiding the present or mindlessly distracting ourselves and doing neither. Aversion to the present makes us hate being present and rather constantly planning to improve things or daydreaming in the future.

This can take time as future moments are always trying to pull us along. But with practice, we can begin to more clearly see when we're acting mindfully and when we're just eating our future plans.

9.  Know that the sacred is ordinary, the ordinary is sacred

"If you live the sacred and despise the ordinary, you are still bobbing in the ocean of delusion.”

- Linji Yixuan

I left this point for last because I feel that it's one of the most important points on this list.

So many search for meaning and purpose through a type of spiritual practice which is so far removed from their everyday lives that they begin to feel as though their daily lives are empty and devoid of any real meaning and that it's only through their separate practice in which they can be "filled up".

Unfortunately, this is just another form of confusion. To live in this way is to be utterly confused about what life, reality, and spirituality (all of the above) is and is about.

This is unfortunate because a true understanding leads to seeing clearly that everything in this world is precious and beautiful. This misunderstanding keeps you from experiencing the beauty that exists all around you at all times.

And in many cases, it keeps you from realizing the interbeing nature of all things, which despite a supposedly deep spiritual practice keeps us acting hostile and defensive towards the world around us. The opposite of what's necessary for peace to occur.

Also unfortunate is that while I can clearly convey the importance of realizing this point, I can't tell you anything that will help you realize it immediately. That's because it must be experienced first-hand, through a daily practice of mindfulness and deep looking.

You need to dedicate yourself to living deeply and mindfully in each and every moment. And even if you fail at this 95% of the time, that 5% where you're successful will radically transform your everyday experiences and cultivate a greater sense of peace, freedom, and meaning in your life for as long as you continue to practice.

So my best advice? Get out there and live mindfully. Look deeply into your everyday experiences. Into the flowers outside your window, into the food that you eat, and into the people you meet.

Make this a priority in your life and give your best effort. It may take time, but it will be enough.

For more information on making mindfulness a way of life, check out ZfEL podcast episode #6: How to Make Mindfulness a Way of Life: 7 Keys to Living a More Mindful Life.

And for a complete guide to both making mindfulness a way of life as well as looking deeply, my first full-length book Zen for Everyday Life is available for purchase here.

This Moment: How to Live Fully and Freely in the Present Moment

This post covered many of the central points of my latest book, This Moment, and I couldn't be more excited to bring it to you. 

Living simply, mindfully, naturally, and with great love. Those are the 4 core principles of the book and they together cover what I believe to be the most important efforts in life.

Whether it's peace, happiness, freedom, or meaning, these 4 principles, and the many sub-topics within them, encompass a complete moment-to-moment guide to living a deeply nourishing, easeful, and joy-filled life even amidst the most difficult everyday challenges.

To get more information and purchase a copy, click below:

The Mindfulness Survival Guide: 10 Powerful Mindfulness Techniques for Overcoming Life's Challenges and Living Mindfully

More than some specific meditation technique, mindfulness is a way of life. Mindful living encompasses every aspect of your life imaginable, it's been a major aspect of just about all Eastern spiritual traditions for thousands of years, and is now taking root in the West.

But mindful living is much more than just discovering and enjoying the present moment. Mindful living brings us crashing into ourselves, which can be both beautiful and frightening.

But the very reason this happens is because mindfulness is giving us the opportunity to realize peace and happiness, the opportunity to discover our true nature and live freely, by opening us up much like a flower opens itself up to the sun.

Living mindfully takes courage. But if you want to live your best life, if you want to discover peace and happiness right now in this very moment, then there's no other way.

Life can be crazy, but if we meet it head on and navigate those difficulties with mindfulness then we have the ability to both maintain peace while doing so and come out happier for it.

This is The Mindfulness Survival Guide, and these are mindfulness techniques to help you navigate the twists and turns of life with greater clarity, peace, joy, and to ultimately discover how awesome life can be.

The Mindfulness Survival Guide:

1. Physical Healing
2. Mental and Emotional Healing
3. Nourishing and Healing Relationships
4. Grounding
5. Dealing with Craving and Addiction
6. *Bonus: When Life Just Won't Give You a Break

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Want to take The Mindfulness Survival Guide with you (recommended, especially if traveling...)? Enter your name and email below to get the Mindfulness Survival Guide PDF free:

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Physical Healing

Mindfulness techniques aren't usually associated with physical healing, but they can be a great aid in the process of not only healing our bodies and minds when suffering from chronic conditions but from acute conditions as well. Mindfulness can also help us reconnect with our bodies and fall in love with ourselves as well, and this is also very healing.

Mindfulness can also help us reconnect with our bodies and fall in love with ourselves as well, and this is also very healing.

1. Mindfulness of body

To practice mindfulness of body, you should preferably be lying down where you can relax with your hands at your sides. I'd suggest doing this exercise just before bed, as it can be extremely relaxing and often result in sleep.

Mindfulness of body starts at the top of your body and works its way down:

1. From the top. Become mindful of your body. Feel your whole body and become fully aware of it.

Now focus your mindfulness on the top of your head, shortly after shifting to your brain. Feel that part of your body fully with your mindfulness. Does that area of your body feel tense? Loose? Do you notice an ache? Pain? Something you haven't noticed before? Be fully present as you scan your entire body with your mindfulness and direct love and attention to each area as you scan.

After scanning each part of your body, give it a moment to release all the tension held within it and relax fully before continuing to the next section. 2.

2. Full-body scan. Continue to move down your body, one body part at a time, like you were scanning your body with an X-ray machine. Don't just stay on the outside.

Once you get to the shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, hands, chest, back, and abdomen, shift to your intestines, stomach, lungs, and everywhere in between. 3.

3. To the bottom. Continue to scan until you get to the tip of your toes. Sometimes, you might need to wiggle a part of your body to become fully aware of it. This is perfectly fine.

Take your time during this meditation, devoting as much as 30 seconds to 1 minute of time to each individual body part. Mindfulness of body can bring relief to your body if you're feeling aches or pains, particularly as a result of stress.

But more importantly, like a tuning fork gathering a signal, the more you practice mindfulness, especially mindfulness of body, the more closely you'll be able to listen to your own body and detect the many signs and signals it gives off that you would otherwise not have noticed.

A special level of communication with our bodies is possible, and mindfulness allows us to cultivate that.

2. Compassion meditation

Typically, compassion meditation is generally done by focusing on entire people, but you can also do it by placing your focus on your body as well. One way of doing this is to start by think of someone you love: 1.

1. Feel the love. Think of someone you love: a son or daughter, husband or wife, mother or father, etc. Once you have that person in your mind, begin focusing on the feelings of love and appreciation you have for that person. Continue to do so for a few minutes until you reach a general high point. 2.

2. Give the love (power up). Next, imagine transferring those feelings into your body. Imagine a burst of positive energy hitting you like a wave. Remember everything you've been through with this body of yours, and imagine those feelings of love and appreciation pulsing within you, flowing through you. 3.

Remember everything you've been through with this body of yours, and imagine those feelings of love and appreciation pulsing within you, flowing through you.

3. Be mindful. Become mindful of your body. Feel your aches and pains, joints and muscles, tenseness and posture, and everything in between. The idea here isn't really to focus on each individual body part so much as it is to connect with the "history of your body" so to speak and to remember how much you've gone through with it, and to cultivate love and appreciation for it as a result of your mindfulness shedding light on this fact.

Continue to send your love and appreciation to your body. Sit like this for 5 or more minutes.

Mental and Emotional Healing

We need mental and emotional healing as much as we need physical healing, and mindfulness is a powerful medicine in the practice of mental and emotional healing.

Mental and emotional healing includes a number of mindfulness techniques. This is because mindfulness itself, practiced in any way, is mentally and emotionally healing. But there are some mindfulness techniques which are especially effective at healing mental and emotional wounds.

3. Forgiveness meditation

Hatred and anger are strong emotions which can take root in our minds and be difficult to overcome. Mindfulness gives us a way to be with those feelings, to feel them and see them with clarity, and smile at them with kindness and compassion.

Forgiveness meditation can be practiced in 3 ways, either focusing on how you've harmed others, how you've harmed yourself, or how others have harmed you (or 2/all 3). Whatever you focus on, the steps are essentially the same. For the example we'll use the second- how you've harmed yourself:

1. Reflect on the pain. Think of the ways you've harmed yourself. Let these feelings sit with you for at least a few minutes. Be mindful throughout the entire process.

2. Be mindful of symptoms. Feel the thoughts and emotions that arise out of this. Continue to sit through these thoughts and feelings.

3. Ask for forgiveness. In this case, you're asking yourself for forgiveness. Understanding that you hold the key to forgiveness, that whether this was something you did to others, others did to you, or you did to yourself, you know that it's up to you and you alone to allow yourself to forgive or be forgiven. You can repeat this, "Please, forgive me for _______." Or, "I forgive you for _______."

4. Release. Lastly, as you ask for forgiveness, be mindful of the various thoughts and feelings that arise within you. These could be feelings of anger, hatred, despair, hopelessness, a sudden urge for relief, or something else. Become aware of what thoughts and feelings you attach to your desire for forgiveness or to be forgiven.

This meditation is definitely not a one-hit. It can take a lot of time for us to be ready and willing to forgive ourselves or forgive others, but if you keep at it eventually you'll naturally open and begin to allow forgiveness in or allow yourself to be forgiven.

4. Going Home

Going home is a simple mindfulness of breathing exercise which I've spoken about before and has great application particularly with regards to mental and emotional healing.

Going home, a simple mindfulness technique which consists of stopping (whatever you're doing) to practice mindful breathing and reuniting body and mind as one. It can not only "cool" strong emotions so to speak, but more importantly it can help introduce us to the truth and power of the present moment more than any other mindfulness practice can.

Why is this important for mental and emotional healing? Because much of the reason why we suffer mentally and emotionally is because we don't know how to live fully in the present moment.

We carry baggage from the past, such as anger, regret, and sadness, and worry endlessly about the future. Both of these things weigh us down and we end up feeling like we're standing in between two stone walls constantly trying to close in around us.

The practice of Going home allows us to discover the peace of the present moment and gradually begin to let go of the baggage we're holding on to. And it's easy to do:

1. Stop. Breathe. Be present. No matter where you are, stop and begin to follow your breath with mindfulness. Become fully alive to this very instant and feel each complete in breath and out breath from start to finish.

2. Go to peace. Imagine for a moment that you're transported to your own place of peace. I like to imagine myself being transported to a monastery, seeing the monks and nuns do their daily activities together with one another in peace and mindfulness. Steep yourself in this feeling for a minute while you continue to breathe mindfully.

3. Realize that peace is now. Bring that sense of peace and calm back with you and imagine it hitting you like a wave of energy shooting down to your head, through your body, and down to your feet.

That sense of peace was always with you, because you never went anywhere. You were always in the present moment. Just you and your breath, experiencing the beauty of the present moment with mindfulness.

Go home every day, multiple times a day, with diligence and see as your deep-seated emotions and mental barriers reveal themselves and begin to unfold, one after another.

Nourishing and Healing Relationships

Relationships of all kinds can be tricky territory, and there's few better ways of nourishing and healing relationships than mindfulness techniques.

One powerful way this can be done is through tackling communication. Whether it's a friend, loved one, or colleague, mindful communication can transform a relationship.

Mindful speech and mindful listening are both ends of the communication spectrum. By practicing both mindfulness techniques you can transform your relationships from the ground up. There's perhaps nothing more powerful for maintaining and developing relationships than simply being fully present for the person.

5. Mindful speech

Mindful speech takes practice, and shouldn't be attempted until you've developed other basic mindfulness techniques first. But it's a worthy inclusion in the mindfulness survival guide nonetheless.

To practice mindful speech really means two things:

1. That you're aware of the effect the words you speak in any given moment could have on the person or people you're talking to, and, as a result, choose your words wisely. 2. That you're mindful while actually speaking, and fully aware of what you're saying to the other person and how you're saying it.

To practice mindful speech means to be aware of the power of the words you speak. Words are infinitely powerful, and with them you have the ability to both cut people down as well as raise them up.

To practice mindful speech ultimately means to be fully aware of the message you're communicating to one or more persons. You know you're right here, right now in this moment communicating to a certain person a certain message in a certain way.

You're also aware of their situation and are aware that you need to choose your words and how you convey your message skillfully.

6. Mindful listening

While mindful speech is a little abstract, mindful listening is straightforward and easy to outline:

1. Create an environment of undivided attention. Be fully aware of the conversation at hand, listening to the other person with all of your being. That means remove ALL possible distractions: put your phone and anything else you have in your hand that could potentially distract you down, turn away from all T.V.'s and any other distracting devices, and most importantly give them full and complete eye contact.

2. Follow your breath, follow the conversation. To help stay attentive during the conversation, follow your breath. Feel your breath in rhythm with their speech, and know that if you lose awareness of your breath you've lost awareness of the conversation.

3. Listen mindfully. Don't be quick to draw judgment on their words. Allow their words to come into you and smile at them nonjudgmentally just as you would a thought, feeling, or sensation during sitting meditation.

Mindful speech and mindful listening aren't basic mindfulness activities, as speaking and listening to another person can be much more complicated activities than something simple like walking, breathing, or cleaning. But it's more than worth putting in the effort to develop your mindfulness to the point where you can both comfortably follow a conversation and speak to another in mindfulness.

Both practices will give you the ability to further nourish positive relationships as well as heal broken ones.

Grounding

Mindfulness techniques in this section cover two areas: both practices which help ground us and make us feel stable and practices which help us care for strong emotions.

Using mindfulness to help care for strong emotions and feelings is extremely effective- whether it's anger, fear, panic, sadness, or some sort of stress. Mental and Emotional Healing covers handling deep emotional issues and psychological hurdles which won't go away overnight, while the process of grounding is a more moment-to-moment practice when sudden occurrences cause us to feel a strong emotion like anger.

When situations like this occur, the emotion can be very dangerous. In the case of anger, it can make us do things in the moment that we'll regret in the future. For this, we need practices which can help bring us back down to Earth and ground us in the present moment through the calming energy of mindfulness.

By doing this, we can regain control and avert disaster.

7. The Walk of Life

The walk of life is essentially walking meditation with a slight twist to help further cultivate the feeling of being grounded:

1. Discover the path. To practice the Walk of Life walking meditation, find a nice quiet place to walk, preferably in nature. If you know of a local park or somewhere else you can walk that would be ideal.

2. Connect with the Earth. It's also preferable that you take your shoes off and walk barefoot so that you can feel the Earth beneath your feet. Both above-mentioned points will enhance the meditation but are not required.

3. Walk the path. Simply begin breathing mindfully. Once you've taken a few breaths, begin walking. Walk very slowly and with shorter strides so that your back heel doesn't start arching up before your raised foot can be placed down.

4. Walk mindfully. Continue to walk and breathe naturally, don't force a certain pace. Your focus during this meditation is the raising, swinging, and placing down of each individual foot. Be mindful as your left foot raises, swings, and lowers. Then, once your left foot has been placed down on the ground, be mindful of your right foot being lifted, swung, and lowered as well.

5. Breathe the walking. Walk the breathing. Try to match your steps with your breath to create a sense of unity within your entire being. If you can do 2 slow steps for each in breath and another 2 steps for each out breath, then say to yourself silently, "step, step" on each in breath, and, "step, step" to yourself on each out breath.

6. Become the tree. Take a moment from time to time to stop and imagine your feet extending down into the Earth, like the roots of a great and immovable tree (you could continue walking and do this as well, but that sense of stability is easier to get while standing with both feet on the ground).

Continue to imagine yourself expanding out indefinitely, your legs as roots, your arms as branches, and many leaves blooming all around you. Focus on your abdomen for a moment, keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, and feel your sense of stability and groundedness.

Doing this meditation especially after experiencing a strong emotion can help you bring the emotion under control and regain a sense of stability and peace.

8. Mindfulness of strong emotions

Mindfulness of strong emotions is an easy practice you can do anytime you're feeling overwhelmed by fear, anger, sadness, or general feelings of stress. The idea behind the meditation is simple:

1. Sit. Take a seat, preferably, and place your focus on the emotion. The idea is to sit with the emotion in the very moment when the emotion is most intense to discover the root of said emotion or stress.

2. Sit with the storm. Let's say it's a general feeling of stress. When that feeling of stress arises, stop to follow your breath and notice what thoughts and feelings arise along with it. You then sit with that feeling of stress for as long as it takes until it calms. You won't necessarily discover the root or source of the stress right away, but you might, and at the very least you should discover some valuable insights as to what the root might be.

3. Discover a cure. Each time the emotion arises, do the same. With time, you'll discover its source and be able to cure yourself of it completely.

This meditation may become a regular practice for you as it can take time to unearth the root of strong emotions such as anger and fear. Stick with it, it's effective in helping find the root of the wound.

Dealing with Craving and Addiction

Craving and addiction can be very controlling forces in our lives, and mindfulness techniques can help us not only manage and overcome those cravings and addictions but discover the source so that they're gone for good.

9. Mindful indulging

Mindful indulging is a meditation which cuts right to the root of the particular craving or addiction. It's only to be used in particular circumstances, and never when the exercise could potentially harm you or another person.

The instructions for mindful indulging are simple:

1. Crave. Let's say your craving is sugar. This is a relatively harmless craving, but one which can still turn into a dangerous and harmful one nonetheless. The idea here is to essentially partake in the craving or addiction itself while being totally and completely present for the entire experience. So get your things together, whatever that entails.

2. Be with the craving. The next step is simple: do it, and do it while being fully present for the experience of doing it. So in our sugar example, you'd go out and buy a bunch of your favorite sugary treats and begin eating them. As you begin to do so, being fully present for the experience with mindfulness, pay attention to any and all thoughts, feelings, and emotions that arise during the experience.

3. Be mindful and discover insights. Follow the experience through with mindfulness from start to finish, and review what you discovered. Did you notice a strong sense of relief while eating the treats? You know that feeling you get when you come home after a long day of work and want to relax? Maybe you notice that feeling. Not a thought or image to connect it to, but simply the exact same feeling. What arises isn't always clear, sometimes all you'll get is clues at first.

4. Find a cure. From there, you might discover that you've mentally connected sugar with a sense of peace and relief from the damage your daily schedule is causing you. Now that you've discovered that, you can not only look for a healthier alternative to your method of relief, but you can begin to evaluate if your daily activities need an overhaul to keep from causing the damage in the first place.

Again, this isn't an exercise that everyone can use. Be careful when utilizing it, but know that it is powerful and a unique addition to the mindfulness survival guide.

10. The Tree of Life

While mindful indulging is a practice which cuts to the heart of the craving or addiction itself, the Tree of Life meditation is a practice which can allow you to momentarily regain control when your particular craving or addiction begins to intensify.

Both practices are valuable in their own right and can be used together. The Tree of Life is a sitting meditation practice with a slight variance, similar to the Walk of Life exercise. To do the Tree of Life meditation is simple:

1. Sit & breathe mindfully. Sit down in a quiet setting and begin following your breath with mindfulness, exactly as you would during your usual sitting meditation practice. Preferably, sit in the full lotus position. If not, a chair is fine too, as long as your feet are planted on the ground. The idea is that you want to feel firmly rooted to the ground one way or another.

2. Grow the tree. After practicing mindful breathing for a minute or two, shift your attention to your abdomen. Feel the strength in your abdomen and imagine it was the trunk of a great tree, firmly rooted to the ground. Begin breathing deeply from your abdomen itself so that your entire focus is placed on the trunk of your body.

3. Breathe. Continue to breathe in this way for another minute or two.

4. Weather the storm, be the tree. Similar to the Walk of Life meditation, imagine yourself as a great tree. Firmly rooted to the ground, you have the ability to weather the pressing storm of craving and addiction.

Take this moment to remind yourself that craving and addiction is a lot like a wave. If you hold strong long enough the intensity will decrease and you'll have a moment of rest. Remind yourself that you stand tall just like the great Tree of Life and that nothing, not even your craving or addiction, can knock you down.

Attempting to cut to the root of our addiction or craving doesn't always work right away. Forces like this can take a persistent effort to overcome. For this, the Tree of Life meditation is an ideal companion.

Bonus: When Life Just Won't Give You a Break

Sometimes, we just need a little something to remind us of all the things we have to be grateful for when life just doesn't seem to want to give us a break. That's where this simple tea meditation comes in.

11. Steep in Gratitude

This is simply drinking a cup of tea in mindfulness, with a bit of a twist:

1. Prepare. Prepare your tea in mindfulness from start to finish. From getting your cup ready, to preparing the teapot, to boiling the water, to preparing the tea, to serving the tea. During the process, be grateful that you have a moment to enjoy this amazing cup of tea. There are few things more peaceful than this.

2. Give thanks. Find a quiet place to sit down with your tea. Before drinking your tea, set your tea down beside you and place your hands together by their palms. Take a moment to give thanks for the tea in front of you and to think of all those people who have never been able to enjoy a cup of tea in this way. Be mindful of these feelings of gratitude swelling in you. Remembering all those things you have to be grateful for is an easy way to level the mental and emotional playing field when daily challenges are really putting on the pressure.

3. Enjoy mindfully. Begin drinking your tea. Take each drink slowly, and don't drink too much tea at once. Take your time, enjoy yourself, and stay mindful every step of the way. Do this for as long as you'd like (preferably, the entire cup of tea).

4. Be mindful. Acknowledge any thoughts or feelings which arise from this. During the process of drinking your tea with mindfulness these feelings of an imminent Armageddon will gradually begin to dissipate, and all that will be left in its place will be peace.

5. Finish (give thanks). Finish your cup of tea and give thanks once more for the tea, the utensils used in making the tea, the time to enjoy it, and the senses which you used to see, taste, and touch the tea.

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The Buddha's Guide to Mindfulness Practice

Mindfulness, at its roots an originally Buddhist meditation technique, has exploded in popularity over the past decade. What was once exclusively a practice for Buddhists has now become a phenomenon in the West.

And while this is truly amazing, unfortunately, it’s been spread mostly disconnected from it’s original roots, so the accompanying wisdom that should guide the practice is unknown to many actively practicing it today.

This was necessary for it to spread to a larger audience, but unfortunate because without its supporting wisdom, while still beautiful and powerful, the practice is only a shadow of its true self.

There are so many beautiful and truly profound ways to expand your mindfulness practice. I’m talking about simple things we can all pay attention to at really every moment of our daily lives, so they have the potential to serve as sources of even greater insight into ourselves, which can bring about greater peace and happiness.

The following 4 points are what’s called the Buddha's "4 Foundations of Mindfulness”. Our modern-day knowledge of this originates from the Satipatthana sutta or "The Discourse on the Establishing of Mindfulness" (a sutta, or sutra, being a kind of Buddhist scripture).

The 4 Foundations of Mindfulness were said to have been laid down by the Buddha more than 2,500 years ago and serves as the quintessential guide to moment-to-moment mindfulness practice. These 4 establishments are the heart of most Buddhist meditation techniques.

Traditionally, the 4 Foundations of Mindfulness were each described as “mindfulness of [the thing] in [the thing]”, referring to the fact that we’re mindful of something while in the experience of the thing itself, but I’ve simplified the titles for ease of understanding.

Each of these points provides multiple unique opportunities for developing a deep and rich daily mindfulness practice which leads you towards greater peace, freedom, and happiness.

*A heads up:the 4 Establishments of Mindfulness are a deep and vast teaching. This post isn't intended to delve deeply into each point but rather give you a simple and straightforward explanation of each along with practical advice for practicing them in your day-to-day life.

1. Mindfulness of body, anatomy, and elements

Each of the 4 Foundations of Mindfulness flow in a very much step-by-step nature, and the Buddha’s “Mindfulness of the body in the body” is always the first stage.

Those of you familiar with mindfulness and Buddhist meditation techniques know the foundational practice is always mindfulness of breath. There’s also mindfulness of our steps in walking meditation, mindfulness of chewing in mindful eating, and so on.

Those are well-known examples of this first opportunity for mindfulness practice, which is really mindfulness of positions and movements, but it goes deeper than that.

More than just mindfulness of physical positions and movements, mindfulness of the body in the body is also mindfulness of our anatomy and the elements we're made up of.

Mindfulness of our anatomy includes mindfulness of the many intricacies of our body, including our internal organs and all the stuff we usually don’t like to talk about like saliva, skin, and urine.

It’s not a pretty topic, but the Buddha suggested we take the time to contemplate deeply on and be mindful of the body in its completeness to become more aware of its selfless, impermanent, and conditioned nature and begin the process of truly being able to let go.

Meditation: A simple meditation you can do for this is to go through each area of your body with mindfulness including your hair, skin, wrinkles even, heart, lungs, etc. and imagine yourself smiling at each area as you go.

The last area for practice is mindfulness of the “4 elements” in Indian spirituality: earth, fire, water, and air.

That might sound a bit cryptic, but there’s actually very concrete ways to practice here which are very nourishing:

• Earth. This refers to mindfulness of the physical form of our body, which we largely already covered. Here, you could be mindful more so of the existence of your physical form standing or sitting rather than of a particular movement, though. Mindfulness of our internal organs or outer physical aspects of our body are examples of practice here.
• Fire. This has to do with becoming mindful of heat in the body (or lack of). Being mindful of the general temperature of the body is a very simple practice which you can easily do anywhere.
• Water. We’ve all heard the statistic: our bodies are made up of more than 57% water. That’s essentially what this element is about: mindfulness of body fluid. It might sound like an odd one, but there’s a number of occasions where this practice presents itself in a simple way.
• Air. For each element, it’s important to be aware of how they play a part in making up the complete system that is our bodies, and that’s no different here. Air refers to the respiratory system and how air plays a direct part in our biology. This area is practiced simply through the foundational Buddhist meditation technique of mindful breathing.

Overall, it’s important to remember that we’re not mindful of these elements just because we can be. The purpose of being mindful of these elements is to notice the conditioned nature of the body.

That is, our body isn’t one single thing but made up of different elements which then give the appearance of one singular thing.

As usual with the Buddha’s teachings, he’s trying to get you to realize the selfless, conditioned, and impermanent nature of things so that you can let go and realize the "highest truth”. And this is one effective way to begin you on the path to doing just that.

2. Mindfulness of feelings

This is what the Buddha traditionally called “Mindfulness of feelings in feelings” and it’s perhaps easiest to understand as mindfulness of painful, pleasurable, and neutral feelings.

These painful, pleasurable, and neutral feelings are felt through the six sense organs of the eyes, ears, tongue, body, nose, and mind (in Buddhism the mind is considered the 6th sense).

This stage in mindfulness practice is very important because it directly deals with the "3 Unwholesome States of Mind" (or 3 poisons, as I talked about in 12 Pieces of Buddhist Wisdom That Will Transform Your Life) of greed, hatred, and delusion.

How does it involve them? Here's a simple breakdown:

1. Pleasurable feelings lead to attachments such as greed and lust.
2. Painful feelings lead to aversions such as hatred and fear.
3. And neutral feelings lead to delusion because they often seem unimportant to us and are therefore ignored.

This is the biggest reason you refrain from acknowledging things in any way when practicing mindfulness.

To acknowledge in any way is to acknowledge something as painful, pleasurable, or neutral (in the case of our day-to-day lives, usually pleasurable or painful). And to do this is to potentially further confuse ourselves and perpetuate the chain of suffering we experience.

But don't misunderstand. It doesn't mean you can't experience joy while doing something, but it does mean that you need to be skillful to not attach yourself to any pleasurable feeling, otherwise that pleasure will then transform into suffering.

For a very concrete example, think of what it's like to fall in love.

What begins as pure joy without attachment quickly becomes something we feel we need, and when that person either leaves us or does something that doesn't align with the idea we have in our minds of who the person is we experience suffering.

But how do we actually deal with a situation like this? With mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the watchful eye which allows us to identify when we attach ourselves to pleasurable feelings, grow aversion to painful feelings, and which allows us to stop ignoring neutral feelings and truly begin observing everything with clarity to see reveal its true nature.

With mindfulness, it's possible to live in a way that you experience great peace and joy without attaching to or averting things. In fact, the greatest peace is experienced when we can be with a pleasurable feeling without attaching and openly accept painful feelings without growing aversion to them.

Of course, this is all easier said than done. But the effort is worth it. After all, isn't true peace and happiness for ourselves and our loved ones what life is all about?

3. Mindfulness of consciousness

Mindfulness of consciousness is traditionally called “Mindfulness of the mind in the mind”.

In Buddhism, it’s noted that there are 52 “mental formations”, mental formations being partly what we refer to as emotions and states of mind such as joy, fear, anger, frustration, excitement, and the like but it includes much more than just that.

It’s important to note that feelings are 1 of the 52 mental formations, but it’s separated and isolated as the second stage of mindfulness practice likely due to its unique practice method mentioned in the last point. This third stage of mindfulness practice includes all other 51 mental formations.

The mental formations have their own categories and a pretty vast teaching behind them, so they’re beyond the full scope of this article. But, for a list of all 52 mental formations (for use in day-to-day mindfulness practice) see here and a modified version by Thich Nhat Hanh here.

As I mentioned in the beginning of the post, going into detail on the 4 Establishments of Mindfulness could fill a book, so this post is simply intended to help you begin deepening your mindfulness practice in a few practical and "productive" ways, at which point you can delve further if you so choose.

A great place to start practicing mindfulness of consciousness is in noticing the coming and going of various emotions and states of mind such as joy, fear, anger, and even mindfulness itself.

By acknowledging "I am being mindful" when you're being mindful or "I am being mindless" when you catch yourself in a distracted or forgetful state of mind you're practicing mindfulness of consciousness.

4. Mindfulness of mental objects

This is traditionally called "Mindfulness of objects of mind in objects of mind". That might sound confusing, but objects of mind are really about our thoughts, ideas, and conceptions.

Here, it's important to understand what role perception plays in our life.

Think of your perception as a T.V. screen. There's something real and true being transmitted onto the screen, but it's not the image on the T.V. The image on the T.V. is an object of mind. It's simply an idea in our mind, or a thought, as opposed to the real thing.

Imagine a flower. When we perceive something like a flower it’s the image of that flower in our mind which is the object of mind.

That's not to say that the flower itself doesn't exist. It does, but we also create an image in our mind of that which we're experiencing.

That image, our perception (various thoughts, ideas, and concepts attached to that real thing), then has a way of "layering" itself over reality. And that almost always distorts- either positively or negatively, or both- our direct experience with the true flower.

That's the idea here. That is, to move beyond our perception to a place where we can see the true flower- beyond our distorting perception as well as identifying the actual thoughts, ideas, and concepts which distort our perception in the first place.

When we fall in love and become attached, we can clearly observe certain states such as greed, craving, or lust having arisen alongside that attachment. They're, in a way, the "quality" of our attachment. The way in which we're attaching.

In this example, it's the resulting effect of our attachment to this idea of the person. This is an example of the practice of mindfulness of the "5 Hindrances".

Noticing the 5 Hindrances, along with the 7 Factors of Awakening, are the core mindfulness practices within mindfulness of mental objects.

The 5 Hindrances are:

1. Sensual desire (I feel this is better understood in English as lust)
2. Ill will
3. Dullness or drowsiness
4. Restlessness and worry
5. Doubt

The 5 Hindrances are things which can hold us back from realizing freedom and true happiness (to put it simply). These are things we want to do away with.

The 7 Factors of Awakening are:

1. Mindfulness
2. Investigation (of mental objects)
3. Energy
4. Joy
5. Tranquility
6. Concentration
7. Equanimity

The 7 Factors of Awakening are the main qualities which the Buddha says should be cultivated to attain awakening and true happiness. The first factor, mindfulness, is supposed to begin a sort of chain effect where each factor leads to the cultivation of the next factor.

I don't want to say too much about this stage as it's a rather deep area of mindfulness practice which you may or may not be ready for, but it's important to keep it in mind because it completes the full scope of mindfulness practice.

For now, it's best to understand that the way to practice with mindfulness of mental objects is to acknowledge when they arise, investigate how they arose, how the 5 Hindrances can be removed and prevented, and for the 7 Factors of Awakening how they can be grown and cultivated.

If this last point sounded a little difficult to follow, don't worry. If you dedicate yourself to the first 3 stages of mindfulness practice you'll gradually cultivate your mindfulness to the point of being able to notice things in a more subtle way, at which point mindfulness of mental objects will be easier to practice.

The Buddha's mindfulness practice

These are the 4 major areas of mindfulness practice originally established by the Buddha more than 2,500 years ago.

When taken together, they include the totality of mindfulness practice and show how you can begin with something as simple as mindfulness of breath and expand to ever-deeper levels of oneself to cultivate greater peace, freedom, and happiness in everyday life.

Keep in mind that you don't ditch one point of mindfulness practice for another. There's a clear path from one establishment of mindfulness to the next, but each is practiced together, and often all at once. As you may have been able to tell, they have a good deal of overlap.

Take these 4 opportunities to be mindful in your everyday life and use them as a way to investigate yourself and discover important insights that can help you relieve suffering and realize true peace and happiness.

Further reading

For those looking to learn more, here are a few resources (the first being off-site):

1. The Satipatthana sutta - Access to Insight
2. How to Walk the Buddha's 8-Fold Path to True Peace and Happiness
3. What is Mindfulness? A Guide to the Practice of Mindfulness

How to Transform Your Life with Conscious Living

What is Conscious Living?

Conscious living is about waking up. More than just mindful living, it's about being conscious of what you consume with your senses and of the effect it has on you.

If you understand that first sentence deeply than the rest of this section is unnecessary. But, it can be very difficult to understand what conscious living is in the beginning without further explanation.

Conscious living is about appreciating yourself as well as everything around you through seeing and acting with greater clarity.

It goes beyond the traditional understanding of self-development, clears up the illusory and confusing separation of self-development and spirituality and introduces the concept of you not as a separate person but as interconnected to all other people and things.

To understand what I mean by that and to know how you should approach conscious living, I need to explain something first.

Mindfulness is the very practice of living peace itself. When practicing mindfulness, we touch the world around us deeply. This can bring us great happiness.

But when practicing mindfulness we also see very deeply into the things with which we're interacting with, which is the reason mindfulness is the basis for awakening. This is because mindfulness develops in us the power of concentration. Through the power of concentration we can receive insight and see into the true nature of things.

Take an orange for example. When practicing mindfulness while eating an orange we may see into the true nature of the orange. What does that mean? We see, or realize, that the orange is made up of completely non-orange elements.

We see the orange tree with which the orange came from. We see the rain water that helped the orange tree, and therefore the orange, grow. Because of the rain we see the clouds, we also see the sun and the

soil from which the orange tree grew from. You can see the farmer that grew the orange and you can also see the pesticides it was treated with along the way, among other things.

So you see that the orange is made up of many different things. Everything affects the orange or contributes to its growth or death and the orange will then go on to do the same.

In The Art of Power, Thich Nhat Hanh explains:

Everything is related to everything else. Your well-being and the well-being of your family are essential elements in bringing about the well-being of your business or of any organization where you work. Finding ways to protect yourself and promote your own well-being is the most basic investment you can make. This will have an impact on your family and work environment, but first of all it will result in an improvement in the quality of your own life.

This is the very basis of conscious living. And you don't have to receive any sort of special insight to see this. By simply becoming aware of the interconnected nature of all things (called the concept of interbeing by Thich Nhat Hanh, the most fitting term in my opinion) you'll begin to see the effect other things have on you and the effect you have on other things.

You can then make the choice to consume more of the things that feed your mind and body, whether it's a certain type of food, a TV show or some sort of relationship, or reduce or even eliminate your consumption of those things that don't (or negatively affect it). Conscious living has two steps:

2 Steps to Conscious Living and the Garden of Your Mind

1. Awareness. That is, becoming fully aware of the complete effect that all things consumed by your senses has on your well-being and on the world around you.
2. Consumption. Next, consuming wisely based on that knowledge: eliminating, reducing and avoiding those things which don't serve you and the world around you and adding and promoting those things which do.

Conscious living includes a huge variety of things. Really, if you think about it, conscious living has to do with everything you do every single day.

Conscious living includes a number of things you might not yet have associated with having an affect on your well-being. It includes not only the obvious things such as what we eat and drink but also what we watch, read and listen to. All of these things affect you in various different ways.

Think of yourself as a plant. Depending on how much sun, water and other nutrients you absorb you'll either grow or wilt. You need to absorb various nutrients on a regular basis. You can't just do it every once in a while and you can't just get water with no sunlight. You need to cover all of the below categories in order to fully master your life- to perform at your best and to be your happiest, healthiest and most energetic self.

One last note about conscious living: it doesn't mean simply feed yourself good things and avoid the bad. Conscious living is about looking deeply into everything that you do, as I mentioned earlier, and really seeing into the true nature of things. It's about getting the complete and fully educated picture.

Then, using that insight to make the conscious decision to consume more or less of that thing based on the effect it has on you. Make no assumptions in conscious living and let your daily mindfulness practice and regular practice of seeing deeply guide you.

Don't just eat more vegetables because other people tell you to, really do your research and look into why you should eat vegetables. What do they do to your body? What do the various vitamins and minerals do that exist in each vegetable? Conscious living is about making conscious decisions, not just taking conventional wisdom at face value.

This is also helpful because by knowing why you do something you'll have a stronger drive to keep doing it as opposed to if you did something that someone else simply suggested you do, even if you desire the result it will give you. 

Why You Should Live More Consciously

The happiest and most successful people in the world practice conscious living, whether they call it that or not. In fact, the road to happiness and success in anything is often paved with gradual steps towards a more and more conscious lifestyle.

And by success, I mean true success. Not success at the expense of ourselves or others. That isn't what conscious living is about nor what real success is. I mean success that positively contributes and connects with as many people as possible, positive use of any power and influence you have and all the while keeping your loved ones, your health and your practice of inner peace and happiness first.

So, why live more consciously? By practicing conscious living you can become:

• Happier
• Healthier
• More peaceful
• More energetic
• More focused
• More compassionate
• You'll also be more likely to have like-minded people in your life who will support and encourage you as well as help contribute with you along the way.
• And you'll also make your loved ones more of all of those things as a byproduct of them associating with you.

Unfortunately though, many of us are closer to the other side of the spectrum. We live unconsciously. As I wrote in 7 Ways Zen Buddhism Can Change Your Life:

We talk about people behind their backs negatively, complain about our day at work when we’re home or about home when we’re at work. We watch reality shows filled with nothing but people fighting and insulting one another for entertainment. We read articles and blogs about Hollywood drama and partake in bashing our politicians and government officials instead of trying to create that positive change ourselves.

The teachings of Buddhism emphasize simplifying one's life. What this means in Buddhist terms is to weed out distractions and negative influences such as the ones I just mentioned which can make it difficult to follow the way to inner peace and happiness. This stands true no matter what you believe.

Until you weed out these distractions and negative influences you can never hope to find true peace or happiness. And by the way, you'll also have difficulty finding true success in anything as well.

The reality is that neither you nor I have the ability to avoid being affected by this, no matter how strong we think we are. Everything around us, especially those things we regularly consume, effect us and in a very concrete way. You need to take steps to reduce the pull of negative seeds in your life and to water the good ones.

How to Live More Consciously

Listed below are the 9 major areas of conscious living. These are the major things which you should become mindful of in your everyday life and educate yourself on to make your own decisions based on your life.

Also, keep in mind that mostly the same things apply for all of us, but, there are exceptions. Remember not to take anything at face value and do your own research on yourself. Really examine your life closely and make a conscious decision.

And don't worry about being perfect. Perfection is just an idea, it doesn't exist in the real world and hanging on to an idea of perfection won't help you.

Like all other efforts that have to do with improving your life, it takes time and you'll invariably get some things wrong at first. Just make your best effort and you'll quickly see the change that living more consciously has on our lives.

Lastly, I know each point is pretty big, so I'd suggest picking two of these points at a time that go well together (mindful eating and drinking for instance) and working on those first. Later you can come back and work on another group.

1. Eating 2. Drinking 3. Healing and Medicating 4. Purchasing 5. Watching 6. Reading 7. Connecting 8. Conversing 9. Loving

1. Eating

Mindful eating has become a popular subject since the spread of mindfulness over the past decade. What is mindful eating? To put it simply, it's eating in mindfulness. Being fully present for the act of eating that piece of fruit or whatever it is that you're eating

But conscious eating is about more than just eating mindfully. Like everything else on this list, it's also about being conscious of what you're putting into your body in the first place. Remember the orange?

Conscious eating is about knowing how the food you put into your body will affect you. By practicing conscious eating you'll not only control your eating and improve your digestion, but by being careful of what you put into your body you'll become healthier and can increase your energy levels substantially.

At my "peak", I was eating McDonald's on an almost daily basis. This peak lasted almost two years. When I started to get back into the martial arts I began gradually working on my diet. I worked on sections of my diet at a time, never pushing myself too hard. The most noticeable change was in my energy levels.

It's hard to describe without sounding like I'm exaggerating, but I wake up on average 4-5 hours earlier than I did back then, go to bed at roughly the same time, have two kids now and get far more done in a given day. And this isn't all because of my diet, but that's been a huge contributing factor. Real change is a marathon, not a sprint. It's been nearly 7 years now since I've had any McDonald's.

2. Drinking

What you put into your body really does make a difference. In fact, some of the most significant improvements to your health and vitality can be made via changing what you drink. There's a few beverages worth mentioning, namely: water, soda/juice, and alcohol. Of all those, water is critically important for your body.

I've followed Mercola.com for most of my health related advice for some time now. I've followed a lot of websites for health advice and few have been as helpful and thorough as Dr. Mercola's website. He had this to say in his article "The Case Against Drinking 6-8 Glasses of Water a Day":

It is my strong belief that the single most powerful intervention the majority of Americans can make for their physical health would be to stop drinking all sodas and juices and replace them with health promoting pure water.

He goes on to say that:

If you get the fluid/water replacement issue right, then you have made one of the most important and powerful steps you can in taking control of your health.

Soda and juice is paired together because the same culprits exist within both: artificial sweeteners and sugar. Artificial sweeteners especially, but sugar itself is bad in excess quantities as well. Our society consumes massive amounts of sugar and it's a huge contributing factor to the ever-increasing rate of diseases such as cancer and heart disease.

Lastly, alcohol. Even casual drinking over the course of years can wreak havoc on your liver, damage your brain and it does you no real good. Not to mention, you or someone you care about and spend time with could have the potential for alcoholism and not even know it, which could lead to much worse things.

You'll find that with a healthy spiritual practice intoxicating yourself for a little fun stops being so attractive. You'll realize the only reason you ever did it was either out of peer pressure or to temporarily numb some sort of internal pain.

3. Healing and Medicating

Healing might not seem like something that would be associated with conscious living, but when you consider that the majority of us rush to consume either over-the-counter or prescription drugs anytime something is remotely wrong with us then you'll see that how you react to pain and illness (whether minor or major) is an important part of conscious living.

In The Art of Power, Thich Nhat Hanh speaks about how we've forgotten our bodies natural healing ability:

When an animal in the forest gets seriously wounded, it knows exactly what to do. It looks for a secluded spot and just lies down for several days, not concerned with eating. It has wisdom. Only when the wound has healed does the animal return to foraging or hunting for food.

We once had this kind of wisdom, but now we have lost our capacity to rest. We panic every time we experience something uncomfortable in our body. We rush to the doctor to get a prescription for all kinds of medicine because we don’t realize that just allowing our body to rest is often the best method of healing.

"Thay", as his students lovingly refer to him as (pronounced 'tie'), suggests using mindfulness to speed up the healing process. How do you practice mindful healing? Mindful healing is simply mindfulness of body.

To do this, you can focus your complete awareness on the affected area, or, on your entire body as a whole. To practice mindfulness of your entire body, start with your head or your toes and stay in mindfulness as you go slowly through each area of your body. When you get to an area of your body causing you trouble, take a few extra moments and give extra attention and love to that area.

Unfortunately most people, at least in the U.S., choose drugs over natural healing.

There's a lot of different over-the-counter and prescription drugs out there and the number is growing every day. I'm sure you've seen the commercials where it's the same beautifully perfect day in every single commercial followed by what sounds like an insane list of side effects.

Drug companies bring in billions of dollars every year, and with money, comes greed. I'm not saying everyone associated with a big pharmaceutical company has fallen to greed and every medication a cash pull. But I am saying that the cases are prevalent enough that you need to be careful and educate yourself about what medication you consume.

Do your research, be aware of all the possibilities, stay mindful of the signals your body is sending you, introduce yourself to natural healing remedies, and practice mindful healing. It's in your hands to be mindful and to make a more educated and ultimately conscious choice.

4. Purchasing

If conscious living is about being mindful of what you absorb through your senses, and we're talking about mastering your life through conscious living, then conscious purchasing is an important point to consider because it effects many of the other categories here.

Conscious purchasing is about being mindful of the impact which something you buy will have on you, on others, on the planet and of the purpose for which you're purchasing it. For the first reason conscious watching, reading, eating and drinking as well as loving and parenting in some cases are all directly connected to this.

The second reason I need to explain a bit further. Being mindful of the purpose for which you purchase something is about being mindful to not clutter your life with needless or useless things. This can eventually have a number of negative impacts on you and those around you, so it's important to consider just for this one reason alone.

I'd suggest starting out here slowly. When you go to buy or acquire something just start by asking yourself these two questions: 1.) Do I really need this? 2.) Will this positively or negatively affect me and/or others around me? Maybe both? This can be a whole lifestyle change in itself, so take it one step at a time and stay true yourself in the process.

5. Watching

By conscious watching I'm referring exclusively to watching TV, movies and videos on the internet. This one is pretty straightforward. Things to be mindful of here are your total daily screen time (TV, phone, desktop, any other sort of screen), how many hours a day you're sitting and what kinds of things you're watching.

You probably already know that staring at a screen for long hours each day isn't exactly good for you but more than ever you need to be mindful of how much screen time you're clocking every day because of how difficult it is to get away from them. We use screens for everything from work to play nowadays.

Chances are you need to cut down on your screen time. An easy exercise to do is to pay attention to how often you check your email and social accounts throughout your day and to cut each down to once or twice a day if possible. Really stop to think about the things you do on your phone especially the things that are just time wasters and seek to cut them off or minimize them.

You probably work and communicate off of your phone and desktop though and generally do nothing but waste time watching TV- so it's an easier target.

If you're an avid screen-watcher then do this experiment: cut your TV by half or a third and immediately start doing something positive with that time like reading a book, going for walks outside or meditating. See how you feel. Pay close attention to your mood, energy level and ability to focus on whatever task is at hand during this period and for the weeks afterwards.

You also need to becareful of how many hours a day you're sitting down as this can be dangerous for your health. Some of the best ways to counteract this are, aside from watching so much TV, to start standing at regular intervals in your day to stretch for a moment and to buy a standing desk for work.

Lastly, be mindful of the effect that shows with not-so-good themes and advertisements can have on your state of mind. It's possible that some are unaffected by this, as research seems mixed, but you need to pay close attention to this regardless. In any case, these things don't feed your mind or contribute to anything positive so they should be minimized.

Now, I'm not telling you to stop watching your favorite show. You don't need to take it that far. But what I am saying is to become mindful of the effect that the things you consume have on you and simply to minimize the bad.

As with every category here, take it slow. At first you can just focus on cutting down your screen time and reserving it only for the things you need and like most. Preferably, things that actually teach you something new.

6. Reading

People love reading about gossip and drama. If they didn't, those magazines with all those bogus celebrity stories on the news stands of grocery stores wouldn't still be there decades after their inception. When they told you in elementary school that reading is good, they didn't mean stuff like that.

Conscious reading means being mindful of the effect that whatever you're reading will have on you and choosing those things that grow your mind or maintain your well-being over those that don't.

That means staying away from gossip, drama and most other negative forms of writing be it a physical publication or a blog, magazine or news source online. It also means that when you do read it should be something that feeds your mind.

Keep in mind that you can't, and shouldn't, stay away from all negative news. I keep up with world news. I think it's important to do so. But man...it can be difficult at times. Read through one week's worth of headlines and your general enthusiasm for the world as a whole will usually drop a few points.

But this is our world, the real world. And it's not all pretty. There's a lot of beauty, but there's a lot of chaos as well. It's important to know what's going on not just in a general sense but so that we can help our brothers and sisters in any way possible. If you live in the U.S. or another well-off nation you tend lead a sheltered life unaware of the hardships of other nations. So it's important to educate yourself.

Conscious reading and conscious living as a whole isn't just about consuming good things. It's about seeing reality as it is. To see with clarity. That means, as we've spoken about throughout this article, that you realize the effect the things you consume have on you and can therefore make a better choice for the sake of your well-being and the well-being of the world around you.

7. Connecting

This is about connecting with people online, primarily via social networks and texting, but also anywhere else people communicate at a distance. Conscious connecting means that you're careful who you spend time connecting with online and what conversations you take part in. It also means though that you watch how much time you spend on your phone or computer in the first place.

Much of the same principles from mindful conversing apply here, except it's much easier to connect online then it is in person. The act of typing your response to something makes it far more difficult to respond to something in anger.

The internet has connected the world like never before, and it's been mostly good, but not all good. Ever read Yahoo! comments? If you have, you know exactly what I mean. Skip the rest of this paragraph. Seriously though, people are FAR more likely and willing to say hurtful things over the internet than they are in person. People will say things over the internet that they would never say in person.

Be very careful who you choose to connect with over the internet. Even if you think negative comments will have no effect on you. We each have the seeds of every emotion from anger to joy in us and what comes to the surface is simply what we choose to water and what we choose to neglect. Choose not to water the seeds of anger, fear, and other limiting beliefs and emotions.

Also, as difficult as I know that it is, don't be disappointed or angry with these people. Just know that it's a deep-seeded anger, resentment or ignorance being projected outward. Understand this and you can continue to show compassion towards them. Consciously, or mindfully, connecting also means that you seek to cultivate compassion towards anyone you connect with.

8. Conversing

Unlike conscious connecting, conscious conversing deals exclusively with face-to-face contact. What I really want to talk about here is, like with connecting, being careful about who you talk to on a regular basis. In other words, your associations.

The people you associate, or communicate, with face-to-face are the most powerful people in your life and some of the most powerful forces in your life period. I can't stress this more. It's so important to keep company with positive and compassionate people. It really does effect everything you do.

By keeping as many positive associations and as few negative ones in your life you'll not only be happier and more at peace, you'll be far more likely to become successful in anything you do. By being mindful of your associations you'll be able to decide which ones are and aren't positive associations.

OK, that sounds great. But in real life, as opposed to online, it can be much more difficult to be choosy about who you speak or spend time with. You might even live with someone who isn't the greatest association. This can be really difficult.

Trust me, I know how it is. I've lived with people who were pretty bad associations as well. In these situations, you need to meditate on the person in hopes of cultivating compassion and understanding towards them otherwise you'll be bothered by them everyday.

But on top of that, you don't want to hang around them any longer than you have to. You can't change someone else for them, that person has to want to change themselves. And if they just don't want to change their ways, you need to get out on your own.

This isn't always possible, I understand. But you can find peace regardless. In fact, it's through these struggles that you will grow to appreciate your practice of mindfulness and mindful living even more.

Conscious conversing is also about how you respond when you're actually talking to someone. This is mindful speech and mindful listening. That argument with your spouse, talking about that project at work with your team where one person is being difficult and meeting with a friend to have fun only to have him or her start to spill about their recent struggles. These are all opportunities for mindful conversing, not only to be mindful of how being around them affects you but of how you respond to them.

9. Loving

Conscious loving is about being fully present to our loved ones. It's about paying attention to our loved one's needs and listening deeply to them.

Why is it on this list? Because conscious, or mindful, loving is mindfulness of how you spend, or consume, your time with your loved ones (in other words, realizing your priorities). It's about realizing how precious your loved ones are and in so giving your full attention to them while in their presence. It's also an extension of mindful conversing.

Mindfulness is the basis for a healthy relationship of any kind. By practicing conscious loving you'll notice your relationships begin to flourish. Try this next time you get in a fight with someone you love:

_______, I love you and I care far more about you than what we're arguing about. I don't care who's right and who's wrong. I love you and I know we can work this out together. Let's do this together, so we can be happy.

This helps bring any argument into perspective. You'll notice when doing this it sort of personifies the argument and makes it an outside force- an adversary. It then allows you and your loved one to see the situation clearly and helps handle the problem.

How does conscious loving towards others help you master your own life? First and foremost, it'll make you (and your loved ones) happier on many levels.

By not just improving the quality of your relationships, by allowing them to altogether thrive, you'll transform every challenge from a possible argument into an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and grow closer. You'll notice your loved ones following your lead and expressing compassion more often than anger, and when anger is expressed your, and their, ability to quell it will improve.

And this strengthening of your relationships will make everything in life easier. Your job, home life, life challenges of any shape and size. Our relationships are possibly the single most powerful factor in our success in anything. So practicing mindful loving is one of the most powerful points on this list.

Additional Resources

There are many ways to start with conscious living, and so much included within it, so I've provided a variety of resources below which are designed to either help you develop mindfulness as a daily practice (what I believe to be the central and most important effort in conscious living), simplify your life, or better examine your life as a whole:

1. What is Mindfulness? A Guide to Mindfulness Meditation
2. 11 Ways to Be More Like a Zen Monk
3. My 2015 Mindful Living Integrity Report
4. 30 Simple Steps to Simple Living in 30 Days: How to Simplify Your Life from Start to Finish in 30 Days
5. The 10 Most Important Ways to Simplify Your Life

The Important Thing

Remember, conscious living includes your entire life, so it's a huge topic. Don't become overwhelmed with all the various different places you can live more mindfully and consciously and get confused about where to start first.

Just remember what is the important thing: to wake up. To live mindfully and to really take the time to educate yourself and become conscious to the world around you.

Be aware of your interconnected nature (our interbeing) and how one thing affects many things and how many things affect one thing. This is the way things are, so by living your life in a way that you become more conscious of this layered relationship you put yourself in a position to experience greater mental and physical health.

However you choose to live your life, what's really important is that you live mindfully and consciously. Wake up to your life in the present moment and realize that every small action makes waves like ripples in a pond.

How to Meditate for Beginners

"Meditation is all about the pursuit of nothingness. It's like the ultimate rest. It's better than the best sleep you've ever had. It's a quieting of the mind. It sharpens everything, especially your appreciation of your surroundings. It keeps life fresh."

-Hugh Jackman

"There are techniques of Buddhism, such as meditation, that anyone can adopt."

- The Dalai Lama

"Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work."

- Thich Nhat Hanh

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Get the How to Meditate for Beginners PDF (the complete guide in a beautiful PDF format) free by entering your name and email below:

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1. What is Meditation?
2. Why Should I Meditate?
3. How to Meditate
4. Walking Meditation
5. Other Forms of Meditation
6. What's the Difference between Mindfulness and Meditation?
7. Frequently Asked Questions
8. Additional Resources

What is Meditation?

Meditation has been practiced for thousands of years and by people all across the world. There are many different forms of meditation and so it can seem difficult to nail down exactly what meditation really is. But, ultimately, they all come down to one major idea:

A mental technique characterized by absorption of the mind on an object (either mental or physical) and used to develop or maintain a state of mind. 

When I say absorption, I mean primarily the mind becoming completely and utterly concentrated or focused on that particular object or objects. It's that absorption which is the central characteristic of meditation. No matter what form of meditation, this complete absorption of the mind on something is there.

Also, you don't even have to be sitting down to meditate. Mindfulness, the central component nearly of all Buddhist meditation techniques and schools, particularly Zen and Vipassana, is essentially keeping one's attention alive to the present moment.

For that reason, mindfulness can be done anywhere and at any time. Sitting, walking, driving, eating, and cleaning are all great examples of effective mindfulness activities. Simply practicing mindfulness is itself a form of meditation.

That isn't to say that anything can replace sitting in meditation though. "Sitting meditation", as the simple practice of sitting and practicing meditation is typically called, is the most concentrated of meditative exercises. Sitting meditation allows the practitioner to attain the highest state of absorption, or the deepest states of meditation (simply put, it's more effective), and is therefore practiced more than anything else.

How to Meditate for Beginners will cover the most basic and fundamental of all meditation practices: the practice of mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness meditation is a form of Buddhist meditation, having originated more than 2,500 years ago with the Buddha in the area around India and Nepal, and it has remained the central meditation practice for all Buddhists up to the modern day (Buddhist meditation techniques being the most popular, well-known, and highly developed of all meditative practices).

To learn more about mindfulness, read What is Mindfulness? A Guide to Mindfulness Meditation.

Why Should I Meditate?

So, why should you even bother meditating? Meditation is the practice of looking deeply. Looking deeply into ourselves and the world around us. Overall, it allows us to realize the fundamental ingredients for peace and happiness.

Meditation essentially has two major purposes:

• Complete Rest and Relaxation - A full recharge of the body. A fully rested and totally peaceful state beyond what sleep can give us.
• Deep Insight - Once complete rest and relaxation is attained, the realization of wisdom (receiving insight) is the next stage. This is the ultimate purpose of meditation and what leads to discovering true peace, happiness and freedom.

The benefits of meditation are vast, to say the least. The major benefit is as the master tool in the practice of attaining true peace and happiness. This is because meditation is both the practice of receiving deep insight and total rest, both which help contribute greatly to our continued peace and happiness.

On top of that, scientific research has begun showing other benefits as well, making it invaluable for optimum health and overall mental and physical performance.

1. Total Rest

This first benefit is why meditation is becoming increasingly popular in the West. I love this explanation by Thich Nhat Hanh in The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation on the restful qualities of meditation:

Why should you meditate? First of all, because each of us needs to realize total rest. Even a night of sleep doesn’t provide total rest. Twisting and turning, the facial muscles tense, all the while dreaming—hardly rest! Nor is lying down to rest when you still feel restless and twist and turn.

...It is possible to find total rest in a sitting position, and in turn to advance deeper in meditation in order to resolve the worries and troubles that upset and block your consciousness.

Meditation provides for us the feeling of total rest and relaxation that so many of us crave but can't seem to get no matter what we try. Sitting down to watch TV at the end of a long day, sleeping in, taking a day just to be lazy and do nothing. We try so many different things and yet none of them really make us feel 100% fully rested.

This is because the problem exists primarily in our minds. We therefore need to use a technique that recharges our minds, not just our bodies. This is the practice of meditation.

After a session your mind is quieter and at greater peace. With continued practice, chronic stress and anxiety gradually disappears until all that's left is peace and happiness.

This is a major benefit of meditation in our modern society. We're always rushing around. Trying to get more done, in less time and better than the last time we did it.

We need to have (at least) a moment to ourselves every day in order to help us achieve total rest and relaxation. This simple practice allows us to do that.

2. Insight

But meditation has a much deeper purpose. Meditation can give rise to deep insights about the true nature of yourself and the world around you.

Insight means wisdom gained through direct (personal) experience and is a sort of realization one receives through practice. Thich Nhat Hanh had this to say:

Someone might well ask: is relaxation then the only goal of meditation? In fact the goal of meditation goes much deeper than that.

While relaxation is the necessary point of departure, once one has realized relaxation, it is possible to realize a tranquil heart and clear mind. To realize a tranquil heart and clear mind is to have gone far along the path of meditation.

The insight one receives as a result of meditative practice leads to true peace and happiness. But not just peace and happiness- freedom. Receiving deep insight into the true nature of things frees you from attachment and suffering. This is true freedom. Unbreakable freedom.

Examples of insights you can receive from practice are the insight of a deep-seated sadness, hatred, or fear. And more than just a practice which allows you to notice things, through regular practice the mind can then heal itself of this sadness or fear. This is part of why a regular practice can bring you such peace and happiness.

What other kinds of insights can you receive? They all essentially come together under the umbrella of realizing, or coming back in touch with, your true nature. I won't go into this part in too much detail because it's beyond the scope of the How to Meditate for Beginners guide, but if you'd like to read (or listen) more on this you can check out Episode #1 of the Zen for Everyday Life podcast: How to Be Yourself in Every Moment.

Wiping away all illusions to connect with the ultimate in some sense (whatever you consider the ultimate to be), this is ultimately what a spiritual practice is. And meditation is the cornerstone of all spiritual practice.

3. Additional Benefits of Meditation and the Scientific Research on Meditation:

Over the past twenty years, researchers have discovered a number of benefits linked to the practice of meditation. Such as:

• Improve your focus and concentration
• Lower stress and anxiety
• Improve creativity
• Increase empathy and compassion
• Improve memory
• Reduce the decline of cognitive functioning from aging

It's also been linked to large amounts of grey matter, which increases positive emotion and improves emotional stability

You can read more about the scientific benefits of meditation below:   Scientific Benefits of Meditation – 76 Things You Might Be Missing Out On at Liveanddare.com   20 Scientific Reasons to Start Meditating Today at Psychologytoday.com

How to Meditate

So, now we know what meditation is and why we should be practicing it regularly. But how do we actually do it?

As this is a primarily beginners guide, I'll be focusing on the most fundamental of meditation techniques: mindful breathing.

But, I'll also take a moment to cover another nourishing mindfulness practice: walking meditation. Plus, I'll quickly cover a few other prominent Buddhist meditation techniques and other mindfulness techniques for you to explore.

Mindful Breathing Meditation

Mindfulness' popularity has exploded over the past decade. Nowadays, the likelihood is if you hear that someone you know is meditating, they're practicing mindful breathing. These are the basic instructions for practicing mindful breathing:

1. Find a comfortable sitting position

First, find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted. You can then take one of a number of different positions. For simplicity sake, shoot for starting with the half lotus, alternating legs, and then move on to the full lotus.

If you're unable to sit in the full or half lotus position then simply sit in a chair as described below. Here are sitting instructions:

• Full lotus: The full lotus position makes your body into a tripod, making it by far the most stable or sitting positions. To sit in the full lotus position, sit down in a typical cross-legged position. Now, take your left leg and place it on top of your right thigh. Next, take your right leg and place it on top of you left thigh. This lifting of the second leg will be very difficult at first, which is why I suggest starting with the half lotus.
• Half lotus: In order to sit in the half lotus position, just place your left leg over your right thigh (or right leg over your left thigh). You should alternate regularly with the right leg on the left thigh. Eventually, with practice, it will become comfortable.
• Or sit in a chair: If neither of these is possible you can also sit in a chair. Make sure to plant your feet to the ground and sit with your back straight. You can place a pillow or a zafu between your lower back and the back of the chair to keep your back straight here as well.

No matter what position you sit in, make sure to use a cushion of some kind if at all possible. I'd suggest sitting on a firm pillow or a zafu (I've included a link to the exact one I use in the resources section at the end of this guide).

Just sit on the last third or so of the zafu in order straighten your back and bring both knees to the floor, creating the tripod. If you don't do this one knee will stick up slightly while you're in the full or half lotus position, sacrificing some stability.

Once you've found a comfortable and effective sitting position for you:

• Loosen up: Now that you're in your seated position, relax. Take a few deep breaths. Stretch your back, neck, shoulders and arms a bit. Loosen the muscles in your face by forming a half-smile and take a few deep breaths. Feel all of the tension roll off your body.
• Adopt proper posture: This is very important. Improper posture can cause you back pain, obstruct your breathing and even effect your concentration so make sure to take the time to perfect the proper sitting posture. Your back and neck should be straight with the top of your head pointed towards the sky. Let your stomach relax. If you tilt your chin downward slightly (one inch) you will gain greater stability as well.
• Rest your hands: Depending on the tradition, different hand positions are used in Buddhist meditation. For now, don't worry about any of that and simply place your hands on your lap, palms up, one on top of the other.
• Eyes half-closed or closed: Look down a couple of feet in front of you and then let your eyelids drop naturally. They should end up about half to two-thirds the way shut. The reason you keep your eyes partially open is so as to not invite lethargy and doze off. You look down because it helps your eyelids lower naturally which also keeps you from blinking as often. Alternatively, if this feels funny or if you're having a hard time concentrating, you can simply close your eyes.

2. Be mindful of the breath: 

Now that you have the proper positioning and posture established, you're ready to begin meditating:

• Be mindful of your in breath and out breath: Close your mouth and breathe in and out through your nose. If a cold or some other condition makes this uncomfortable then it's OK to breathe through your mouth. Breathe in, breathe out. Put complete focus on your breath….Your breath is your object of concentration (the thing you attempt to concentrate on). Do not attempt to control your breath, simply observe it silently. Your silent observation will slowly begin to calm your breathing naturally.
• Count each inhalation and exhalation: Inhale…one. Exhale….two. Count the number at the end each inhale and exhale. Count to 10 like this. If a thought distracts you, start the 10 count over from 1. When you get to 10, start over and attempt to count to 10 again.
• Count until your mind calms: Do this for as many weeks or months as it takes until you can count to 10 repeatedly with little effort. Then count each inhale + exhale as one. Then, when that becomes easy, stop counting and simply follow your breath. Don’t rush this step, progress slowly. You are building your power of concentration, which in Zen is called "joriki".

3. Acknowledge + Return:

That's essentially the entire practice of mindful breathing meditation. The only problem is, our overactive monkey minds aren't so quiet to allow us to focus on one point indefinitely, or even for more than a few seconds, are they? If you haven't noticed this yet, you will when you begin meditating.

So, what do you do when you're trying to concentrate on your breath while thoughts of dinner, the bills, and yesterday's argument keep arising in your mind? Here's the remaining instructions:

• Gently acknowledge any thoughts and impulses: Thoughts will come, do not push them away. This is a good thing, it means you're becoming more mindful. Meditation is acceptance, not avoidance. You want those things to rise to the surface during meditation because that is when the real healing will begin. Fear, anger and stress will rise to the surface so that you can let it run its course and dissipate.
• Bring your focus back to your breath: Imagine the thought, feeling, or sensation floating passed you like a cloud in the sky, then return back to your breath. This will be difficult at first and you’ll lose focus constantly (every few seconds). Don't become frustrated when your mind drifts, know that it's a normal part of the process. Keep at it, after a while your mind will begin to grow quieter and you will start gaining control over your it. It may take a few weeks or even months to begin noticing significant improvement, but typically you'll start seeing a difference within just your first week or two.

Like ripples in a pond dissipating, as your monkey mind becomes quieter you will begin to see everything around you more clearly. You will feel more and more connected to the world around you and discover a gradually deeper sense of peace.

Some days it will feel easy to sit and some days you'll feel as though a battle is being waged within you. No matter what happens know that it's just a part of the process.

There is no failing at meditation, only you making your best effort. If you do that, you'll see the incredible value of the practice and be better off for it.

How long should you meditate?

So, how long should you meditate for? This is arguably just as important as anything else we've covered, because the single most important effort is to make meditation a daily practice.

My general advice is to meditate for 5-10 minutes, once or twice a day, in the beginning. But, if you're experiencing any form of resistance to sitting (you're making excuses why you can't or shouldn't sit today), then simply make the commitment to sit in meditation for 60 seconds.

That might sounds crazy, but it works. And remember, the most important effort in the beginning is to make meditation a daily habit. For more information on how to make meditation into a consistent daily practice, check out this guide: 5 Steps to Making Meditation a Daily Habit.

Increase your sessions by about 5 minutes at a time whenever you feel comfortable. You should feel gradually able to sit down for longer and longer periods. Work your way up to whatever timetable is best for you, but if you'd like a recommendation I'd say somewhere around two 30-45 minute sessions per day. And there should be no reason why you can't do at least one 20 minute session per day.

Lastly, in the beginning you might find yourself counting the minutes waiting for your meditation to be over. This is the wrong mentality. I used to sit down and eventually grow twitchy and fidgety when I knew my session was almost over. If this is happening to you, try not setting a timer for a while. Just sit.

If you're too conditioned to "get results" in everything you do then a timer during meditation can be counterproductive at first because all you'll want to do is think "check! That's off my list..." There's no benefit in that and meditation doesn't work that way. Just sit.

After a while this feeling will disappear and instead you'll notice yourself feeling like you could sit forever. And it will feel wonderful.

Walking meditation

The practice of walking meditation is exactly what it sounds like, walking in meditation, and it's essentially just walking mindfully in a specific way.

Walking meditation has been done by people of various spiritual traditions for possibly as long as sitting meditation, and it's the second most common of all Buddhist meditation techniques.

Walking meditation is a simple but very nourishing practice. I love walking meditation because you can do it throughout your day. When you're walking in your home, from your car to work or vice versa, running errands, or simply when going for a short walk outside. Anywhere you walk you can practice walking meditation.

How to Practice Walking Meditation

These are the most common and basic walking meditation instructions:

1. Decide where you're walking to: Fix your sights on a location in front of you such as your car, a building, the end of a room or street or a tree. Wherever it is, you want to walk with mindfulness and purpose. Know that is where you're walking.
2. Match your steps with your breath: Breathe naturally, see how many slow steps you take for each natural inhale and exhale. You can say "in" for each step on inhale and "out" for each step on exhale. So "in, in, in" on inhale if you take 3 steps and "out, out, out" on exhale for 3 more. You can also say a phrase that calms you if you prefer. In that case, just match the number of steps you're taking with syllables. So 3 steps could be "be-at-peace".
3. Be mindful of your steps: This is mindfulness meditation in action, so your point of concentration will be your steps. Put 100% of your focus into your steps. You'll want to put great care into each step you take, so walk slowly. Thich Nhat Hanh says to imagine your feet kissing the earth with each step. Take this moment in for everything that it is. There is no past and no future. Know that peace and happiness both exist in this moment.

For more information, instruction, and various different walking meditation techniques check out The Beginner's Guide to Walking Meditation.

Other forms of meditation

As I mentioned earlier, there are many different Buddhist meditation techniques and even more forms of meditation and techniques in general. Listed below are various guides and posts to different practices you can explore (Loving-kindness meditation being the second most well-known of all Buddhist meditation techniques):

1. How to Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation
2. How to Find Peace and De-Stress with a Simple Tea Meditation
3. The Mindfulness Survival Guide: 10 Powerful Practices for Overcoming Life’s Challenges and Living Mindfully

What's the Difference between Mindfulness and Meditation?

OK, so you're probably wondering at this point- what exactly is the difference between mindfulness and meditation?

To put it simply, mindfulness is itself a form of meditation. Mindfulness is something you do as a form of sitting meditation practice, but it's also something you can do outside of sitting meditation, during your everyday life.

So, what exactly is mindfulness then? It's two things- mindfulness is both the quality of being, as well as the practice of keeping yourself, alive to the present moment (or present moment events). That's why it's used as a meditation practice (the most fundamental of all meditative practices) but also something you can so outside of sitting in meditation.

If you're walking, you're fully awake to the act of lifting, swinging, and placing each foot down and you're aware of any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that arise while you're walking. Living fully in the present moment, not reflecting on the past or planning for the future.

So, why sit down to practice mindfulness if you can do it while walking, cleaning and eating? Sitting meditation is the most concentrated form of all mindfulness practices.It allows us to enter what's often called in meditation, the highest state of "absorption".

Sitting meditation allows for the necessary level of "concentration" or absorption, for deep insights to occur. That isn't to say that you can't receive insight any other way, just that sitting meditation is the best vehicle.

Frequently Asked Questions About Meditation

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions about meditation. Have a question but don't see it here? Feel free to contact me here and I'd be happy to help.

1. I can't sit still, how on earth am I supposed to meditate?

All the more reason that you need to sit! Those who have the greatest difficulty in meditation are typically the ones who get the most out of it. This excerpt from Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind sums up this point well:

When you are determined to practice zazen with the great mind of Buddha, you will find the worst horse is the most valuable one. In your very imperfections you will find the basis for your firm, way-seeking mind. Those who can sit perfectly physically usually take more time to obtain the true way of Zen, the actual feeling of Zen, the marrow of Zen. But those who find great difficulties in practicing Zen will find more meaning in it. So I think that sometimes the best horse may be the worst one, and the worst horse can be the best one.

2. The same thought keeps coming into my mind while meditating, what does it mean?

Don't worry, this is perfectly natural. Mindfulness is more than just being aware of your breath. It's about being fully aware of everything occurring in this moment. Your thoughts, feelings, and various sensations being a part of that.

If the same thought keeps creeping into your mind during meditation then, as you do with any thought, simply acknowledge it each time it comes to the surface and then bring your focus back to your breath. Do this as many times as necessary. You're letting the emotion run its course.

Whether it's fear, anger or stress, this is a good thing because it's a clear sign that your mindfulness is improving. If you stick to your practice you will slowly and gently unfold your mind, watching all your fear, anger and stress arise and allowing the natural healing process of mindfulness to unfold.

Keep in mind though that to really work on this fully you should practice mindfulness in your everyday life, not just when sitting in meditation.

3. How long can I expect to meditate before seeing results?

It depends on what you consider results. In the most real sense, most of us sit to acquire peace and happiness. This is the wrong way to look at meditation, but I'll talk about that in a moment.

If you're looking to cultivate peace and happiness, the very first day could make you feel more happy and peaceful. In all likelihood though your first couple of weeks will be tough. You'll experience the "monkey mind", as it's called in Buddhism, at its greatest intensity.

Ultimately it all depends on how quiet (or loud) your mind is going into meditation practice. Either way, don't judge yourself. It doesn't matter how quiet or loud your mind is, just that you sit diligently. For the most part, the "rewards" of meditation come on their own timetable so you'll need to practice patience.

For me in my own practice, at the beginning seeing my mind gradually quiet and feeling the increasing sense of peace within myself was more than enough confirmation and encouragement for me. That started happening after just a few weeks and was significant.

You shouldn't sit down to meditate expecting anything, but of course it would be wrong to say that you started your meditation practice for no reason. That just doesn't make any sense. Know why you began your meditation practice, find confirmation of your practice in that and then let go of it.

Sit without any expectations. Only then will you see the true value of the practice.

4. How exactly is slowing down and taking time to do something completely unrelated to my work supposed to make me more productive?

I completely understand this mentality because I was that guy too. I didn't understand how doing something completely unrelated to my work could actually make me more productive.

I was the epitome of a productivity junkie. Everything I did that I felt wasn't naturally productive towards my work I tried to do at the same time as something that was. When I did work I tried to be as quick as possible and was constantly looking for ways to squeeze more time out of each day to get more work done.

It turns out none of those things make you all that more productive, and in fact, they can make you far less productive. When you allow your mind to rest, to step away from a particular project or thought for a period of time, you will notice yourself as being far more creative and productive when coming back to it. It's just the way the mind works, there's nothing more to it.

You don't have to take my word for it though, there have been studies done. And another article here that nicely sums up this point.

5. Can't I just sit down however I want when I meditate? A simple cross-legged position? 

Absolutely, meditate in whatever sitting position you'd like. But be careful, a stable sitting position and proper posture are very important in a regular meditation practice.

The full lotus is the most stable position and, once you get used to it, a comfortable position to meditate in. So you should strive to sit in the full lotus.

This is a difficult position to sit in even with practice for some which is why I mention that you can sit in the half lotus or even sit on a chair if neither of those is comfortable for you.

If you'd like to sit down but prefer not to sit in the full or half lotus positions, you can take the seiza position. The seiza position is one I use often and it's essentially just dropping to your knees from a standing position and then sitting back with your butt touching your feet (spread your knees out a bit for greater stability).

In the seiza position you form the same tripod as in the full lotus and while you can do this position with a meditation pillow (the pillow between your feet), this is also the best position to sit in when you don't have a pillow handy on a flat surface. Keep in mind that if you sit like this without a cushion for too long though (10-20 minutes), your legs will go numb as you're sitting on your sciatic nerve.

Additional Resources

Here are some additional resources to help get you started. Some of these I mentioned above throughout the guide, but I'll mention here again for good measure.

With the exception of the meditation cushions, these are all located on Buddhaimonia, be it posts, podcasts, guides, or books:

More Guides and Posts

1. Tools to Help You Start Your Home Meditation Practice
2. The Beginner’s Guide to Walking Meditation
3. What is Mindfulness? A Guide to Mindfulness Meditation
4. 5 Steps to Making Meditation a Daily Habit
5. 50 Awesome Meditation Tips for Beginners

Step-by-Step Guides

Below are short summaries of two of my books, which are some of the best resources I've written on meditation practice. The Little Book of Mindfulness is a "mindfulness A-to-Z" beginners guide while the other is an in-depth moment-to-moment everyday mindfulness practice guide. Here they are:

The Little Book of Mindfulness

As I mentioned, this is a "mindfulness A-to-Z" beginners guide. It's extensive, coming in at about 130 pages, and will give you everything you need to begin your mindfulness practice.

It's also free! All you need to do is sign up for email updates (where I'll send you post, podcast, guide, and book updates weekly) and you'll get access to the complete book:

Read The Little Book of Mindfulness

Zen for Everyday Life

Zen for Everyday Life is an in-depth moment-to-moment mindfulness practice guide. It's all about showing you how to establish a daily mindfulness practice from beginning to end, not only from practice instruction (across nearly a dozen everyday activities) but expanding your practice to your relationship with others as well as to developing and maintaining your practice to keep it healthy and consistent.

If you'd like to learn more about Zen for Everyday Life, click the book image or the link below to go to the official book page:

Learn more about Zen for Everyday Life

 

Meditation Cushions

Depending on the surface you meditate on and what's readily available to you, meditation cushions can be very helpful. In Zen, practitioners usually use two different types of cushions at once: a zafu (a little round pillow, the pillow they sit on) and a zabuton (a wide square-like mat that is placed between the ground and your meditation pillow/zafu, which helps protect your knees on a hard surface).

Here's the meditation pillow (zafu) that I've personally used for years and suggest: buddhaimonia.com/cushion

And here's the meditation mat I suggest as well: buddhaimonia.com/mat

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Get the How to Meditate for Beginners PDF (the complete guide in a beautiful PDF format) free by entering your name and email below:

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The Time is Always Now

We all come to the practice of meditation for different reasons. Whatever brought you here, I hope you found this guide useful in beginning your meditation practice and that you discover the full beauty of the practice.